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Do you agree or disagree with the following statements In twenty years that would be fewer cars in use that there are todayUse specific reasons and details to support your answer. v.2

In twenty years that would be fewer cars in use that there are todayUse specific reasons and details to support your answer. v. 2
I completely disagree, I feel exactly the opposite of the statement. The world’s population is increasing in a exponential way and together with this, the number of cars is getting bigger and bigger. Nowadays, everyone wants to have a car. Especially, because cars give people the independence to get from one place to another quickly. However, the same people that enjoy this independence, get angry when they spend several hours in a traffic jam. It is pretty normal that people pass more than one hour in traffic, at least here in Brazil. Chiefly in the big cities, citizens need to get up earlier to arrive at their job on time. Of course, the quality of life decreases so much. Beyond less hours of sleep and a lot of time driving to work, people have become mentally and physically exhausted. For instance, last week my brother was busy and could not take my dad to work. So, I went. But, here in my city the traffic is just terrible at 5 p. m and I spent almost 2 hours getting back home that day. When I arrived at my dad’s house my mind was completely blacked out. Unfortunately, simple activities could be a nightmare with the amount of cars that we currently have. I am a P. h. D student and if I have an important activity to do at the university, I need to reschedule my activities to guarantee that I’ll arrive at the university on time. For example, last semester we were taking biochemistry classes with Mr. Araujo and that specific day a girl from the class was supposed to show her work for us (Mr. Araujo would then grade her presentation). Our classes started at 8 a. m, but the girl did not arrive on time. We stayed waiting for her until 10 a. m. When she finally arrived, she told us that she was stuck in traffic. I remember that I was just imagining if I was her, how ashamed I would be. So, we cannot assume that the traffic will be fine. It is much better to come earlier and wait for the professor than to have the traffic effect your whole day. Truly, we cannot deny that cars provide a kind of comfort for our lives, but we need to be aware of the damage to the planet generated by the fuel that we frequently use in cars. It is possible to reduce this with simple actions like offering to car pool or even walking when possible. Unfortunately, we do not always think like this. For example, my boyfriend’s family is about 7 people and everyone has their own car. Even when they are going to the same place, they never offer each other a ride just because each one prefers to go in their own car. To me this type behavior is not good, we need to think more about the world in general not only ourselves. For those reasons I believe that the number of cars is increasing in the short term. Even though there are benefits offered by cars, we need to pay attention because there are a lot of things involved while we are just driving. Certainly, our planet is one of those things.
I completely disagree, I feel exactly the opposite of the statement. The world’s population is increasing
in a exponential way
and together with this, the number of
cars
is getting bigger and bigger. Nowadays, everyone wants to have a
car
.
Especially
,
because
cars
give
people
the independence to
get
from one place to another
quickly
.
However
, the same
people
that enjoy this independence,
get
angry when they spend several
hours
in a
traffic
jam.

It is pretty normal that
people
pass more than one
hour
in
traffic
, at least here in Brazil.
Chiefly
in the
big
cities, citizens
need
to
get
up earlier to arrive at their job on
time
.
Of course
, the quality of life decreases
so
much. Beyond less
hours
of sleep and
a lot of
time
driving to work,
people
have become mentally and
physically
exhausted.
For instance
, last week my brother was busy and could not take my dad to work.
So
, I went.
But
, here in my city the
traffic
is
just
terrible at 5 p. m and I spent almost 2
hours
getting back home that day.
When
I arrived at my dad’s
house
my mind was completely blacked out.

Unfortunately, simple activities could be a nightmare with the amount of
cars
that we
currently
have. I am a P. h. D student and if I have an
important
activity to do at the university, I
need
to reschedule my activities to guarantee that I’ll arrive at the university on
time
.
For example
, last semester we were taking biochemistry classes with Mr.
Araujo
and that specific day a girl from the
class
was supposed
to
show
her work for us (Mr.
Araujo
would then grade her presentation). Our classes
started
at 8 a. m,
but
the girl did not arrive on
time
. We stayed waiting for her until 10 a. m. When she
finally
arrived, she
told
us that she
was stuck
in
traffic
. I remember that I was
just
imagining if I was her, how ashamed I would be.
So
, we cannot assume that the
traffic
will be fine. It is much better to
come
earlier and wait for the professor than to have the
traffic
effect your whole day.

Truly
, we cannot deny that
cars
provide a kind of comfort for our
lives
,
but
we
need
to be aware of the damage to the planet generated by the fuel that we
frequently
use
in
cars
. It is possible to
reduce
this with simple actions like offering to
car
pool or even walking when possible. Unfortunately, we do not always
think
like this.
For example
, my boyfriend’s family is about 7
people
and everyone has their
own
car
. Even when they are going to the same place, they never offer each other a ride
just
because
each one prefers to go in their
own
car
. To me this type behavior is not
good
, we
need
to
think
more about the world
in general
not
only
ourselves.

For those reasons I believe that the number of
cars
is increasing in the short term.
Even though
there are benefits offered by
cars
, we
need
to pay attention
because
there are
a lot of
things involved while we are
just
driving.
Certainly
, our planet is one of those things.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
35Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay In twenty years that would be fewer cars in use that there are todayUse specific reasons and details to support your answer. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
543 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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