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Many business meetings and discussions are happening online nowadays. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v.2

Many business meetings and discussions are happening online nowadays. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v. 2
It is true that online business meetings and discussions are becoming common. Although this trend can be disadvantages to some extent, I believe that the merits are more significant. On the one hand, meetings via the Internet can be negative in the some certain aspects. Firstly, people may suffer from technical problems. For instance, the interruption of the online meeting can result from the low Internet connection. In some cases, when power cut happens, all meeting’s content may be disappeared. Secondly, some online meetings have very little expose to face-to-face conversations, which makes people encounter difficulties to convey and understand real facial expressions. Consequently, it is hard to conduct arguments and this affects the meeting’s outcome negatively. On the other hand, online business meetings are a positive development for various reasons. First of all, people work more effectively. In fact, companies can hold the meeting anywhere without gathering all staff at on particular place. Furthermore, they are able to share documents easily and quickly without printing out. Another advantage of online discussions is time and cost efficiency. To be more specific, people can spend time at home to enjoy the meeting comfortably or do other tasks at the same time instead of traveling to the workplace. Besides, companies will reduce fuel-filling cost for transportation, which leads to less pressure on employee’s budget. In conclusion, despite the drawbacks that online meetings can bring, it still does more good than harm.
It is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meetings
and discussions are becoming common. Although this trend can be disadvantages to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent, I believe that the merits are more significant.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meetings
via the Internet can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
in the
Did you mean "same"?
some
certain aspects.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may suffer from technical problems.
For instance
, the interruption of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meeting
can result from the low Internet connection. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases, when power
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
happens, all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meeting’s
content may
be disappeared
.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meetings
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
expose to face-to-face conversations, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
encounter difficulties to convey and understand real facial expressions.
Consequently
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to conduct arguments and this affects the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meeting’s
outcome
negatively
.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meetings
are a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development for various reasons.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
work more
effectively
. In fact,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
can hold the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meeting
anywhere without gathering all staff at on particular place.
Furthermore
, they are able to share documents
easily
and
quickly
without printing out. Another advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
discussions is time and cost efficiency. To be more specific,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can spend time at home to enjoy the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meeting
comfortably
or do other tasks at the same time
instead
of traveling to the workplace.
Besides
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
fuel-filling cost for transportation, which leads to less pressure on employee’s budget.

In conclusion
, despite the drawbacks that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meetings
can bring, it
still
does more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
than harm.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Many business meetings and discussions are happening online nowadays. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v. 2

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
239 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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