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TPO-35 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? In twenty years there will be fewer cars in use than there are today. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.1

TPO-35 - Independent Writing Task In twenty years there will be fewer cars in use than there are today. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1
In today's world we observe people becoming workaholics giving little to no time for some leisure activities. Long working hours might increase the productivity of a person while ensuring someone to stay focused. In the long run it will have diminishing returns and will negatively impact one's health. I believe we should give equal importance to rejuvenation as much we give it to putting in long hours. There is a bright side to work for prolonged periods of time. It makes us focus on the task, leaving no room for distractions. We can all agree on how important it is to remain focused for getting a task done. Long working hours ensure the continuity of thoughts which is crucial when we are working on a hard problem. It makes the process of figuring out the solution much easier. Working for longer durations can help someone accomplish more quantity of work which will in turn increases the productivity. However, increased work load can have a negative impact on our physical and mental health. For example, research suggests that the stress caused due to excess workload can trigger some hormonal responses in our body which can be detrimental to our health. There has been a drastic increase in the psychological cases such as depression, anxiety and suicidal tendencies due to the increased work pressure. Contrary to the popular belief that more working hours produce more output, it has been proved that the opposite is true since it is unsustainable in the long run without having any negative health impacts. That is why, it is paramount for us to take a break from work once in a while and indulge in leisure activities. Because, they help your body recuperate from all the physical and mental toll it took from the hard work you have put it. To conclude, long working hours can result in the increased productivity, but it comes at a price. The price being, the well-being of an individual. Working hard is really admirable, but at the same time one should give importance engaging leisure activities as well.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world we observe
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
becoming workaholics giving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
to no time for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
leisure activities.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
might increase the productivity of a person while ensuring someone to stay focused. In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
run it will have diminishing returns and will
negatively
impact one's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. I believe we should give equal importance to rejuvenation as much we give it to putting in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
hours.

There is a bright side to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for prolonged periods of time. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
us focus on the task, leaving no room for distractions. We can all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
on how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
it is to remain focused for getting a task done.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
ensure the continuity of thoughts which is crucial when we are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
on a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
problem. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the process of figuring out the solution much easier.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Working
for longer durations can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
someone accomplish more quantity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
which will in turn increases the productivity.

However
, increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
load can have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on our physical and mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
For example
, research suggests that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
caused due to excess workload can trigger
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
hormonal responses in our body which can be detrimental to our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. There has been a drastic increase in the psychological cases such as depression, anxiety and suicidal tendencies due to the increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
pressure. Contrary to the popular belief that more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
produce more output, it has
been proved
that the opposite is true since it is unsustainable in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
run without having any
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
impacts.
That is
why, it is paramount for us to take a break from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
once in a while and indulge in leisure activities.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
your body recuperate from all the physical and mental toll it took from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
you have put it.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
can result in the increased productivity,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
at a price. The price being, the well-being of an individual.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
is
really
admirable,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
at the same time one should give importance engaging leisure activities
as well
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Learn a language, and you’ll avoid a war.
Arab Proverb

IELTS essay TPO-35 - Independent Writing Task In twenty years there will be fewer cars in use than there are today. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
347 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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