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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: University students should be required to take basic science classes even if they are not part of the field of the study. v.1

: University students should be required to take basic science classes even if they are not part of the field of the study. v. 1
The phenomenon seen in modern society is the families's size change. The changes of family structure cause the roles of them as well. The small size of the family would bring the positive effects which the family relationships can be close. However, I strongly believe that the forms of family which have been changed by modernize would cause the negative effects in society. First of all, in modern society, the extended families are rare and the small size families, such as the nuclear family, one-parent family, and one-person household, have increased significantly. This phenomenon would cause the problems on people’s mental health. People need interaction in the relationship. The person who live their own cannot share the high or low of their daily life, it may bring mental problem such as the boredom or loneliness problem. When it comes to children, in the past the extended family members, such as grandparents, uncle, and aunty, functioned as the influencer to children. However, in these days, busy parents have to rely on the nannies, after-school class or private education institute for their children. It means that the influencer is changed from relatives to other things, such as television, the internet and other people which is not family. This phenomenon would cause negative effects to children’s development, such as behavioural and psychological problem. In conclusion, the family’s changes of structure and roles have caused severe social problems in contemporary society. I believe people can be happy in extended family because people need interaction with others.
The phenomenon
seen
in modern society is the
families's
size
change
. The
changes
of
family
structure
cause
the roles of them
as well
.
The
small
size of the
family
would bring the
positive
effects which the
family
relationships can be close.
However
, I
strongly
believe that the forms of
family
which have been
changed
by modernize would
cause
the
negative
effects in society.

First of all
, in modern society, the extended
families
are rare and the
small
size
families
, such as the nuclear
family
, one-parent
family
, and one-person household, have increased
significantly
. This phenomenon would
cause
the problems on
people’s
mental health.
People
need interaction in the relationship. The person who
live
their
own
cannot share the high or low of their daily life, it may bring mental problem such as the boredom or loneliness problem.

When it
comes
to
children
, in the past the extended
family
members, such as grandparents, uncle, and aunty, functioned as the influencer to
children
.
However
, in these days, busy parents
have to
rely on the nannies, after-school
class
or private education institute for their
children
. It means that the influencer is
changed
from relatives to other things, such as television, the internet and other
people
which is not
family
. This phenomenon would
cause
negative
effects to
children’s
development, such as
behavioural
and psychological problem.

In conclusion
, the
family’s
changes
of structure and roles have caused severe social problems in contemporary society. I believe
people
can be happy in extended
family
because
people
need interaction with others.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay : University students should be required to take basic science classes even if they are not part of the field of the study. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
252 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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