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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement The telephone have a greater influence on people s lives than television has v.1

The telephone have a greater influence on people s lives than television has v. 1
In recent times, the salaries of the people are souring drastically in major countries. There is a heated debate amongst the people that either it is beneficial for the nation or the administration should set certain limits on salaries of the people. This essay will discuss both the views along with my opinion in the following paragraphs. To begin with, the former view, the healthy salaries of the people bring positive effects to the countries such as good taxation revenue and the high standard of living of citizens. The increment in salaries motivates the people to consume more and more goods and services; as a result, the manufacturing units in the domestic region will grow and the taxation revenue of a local authority will increase accordingly. Thus, the infrastructure and other facilities will develop the nation. Moreover, the purchasing power of a consumer will increase with the increase in income; hence, the standard of living of the people will improve. For instance, the monthly family budget of an individual will expand due to his healthy income. Thus, the wealthy people make the nation most developed and prosperous. On the other hand, the increase in salary of a person brings few difficulties too. The first and foremost demerit of the exorbitant salaries is that it might create an inflation in the market. Thus, the excessive money intake may increase the price of the products in the market. As a result, the people with a compatible income could not satisfy their basic needs and the inequality immerge in the society between the rich and the poor. For example, the inflation in the market makes the food and shelter costly, which is potentially dangerous for a middle class family. Lastly, the exorbitant salaries make the people materialistic and that might cause the exploitation of the scarce resources. Thus, the extremely high income creates trouble to the citizens as well as to the environment. In conclusion, the higher income of an individual has both positive and negative effects on the economy of the nation. In my opinion, the government should form policies with specific upper limit for the salaries of their citizens. Otherwise, many potential economic and environmental problems may occur.
In recent times, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are souring
drastically
in major countries. There is a heated debate amongst the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that either it is beneficial for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
or the administration should set certain limits on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. This essay will discuss both the views along with my opinion in the following paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the former view, the healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects to the countries such as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
taxation revenue and the high standard of living of citizens. The increment in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
motivates the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to consume more and more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and services;
as a result
, the manufacturing units in the domestic region will grow and the taxation revenue of a local authority will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
accordingly
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Thus
, the infrastructure and other facilities will develop the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
.
Moreover
, the purchasing power of a consumer will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
;
hence
, the standard of living of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
.
For instance
, the monthly family budget of an individual will expand due to his healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Thus
, the wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
most developed and prosperous.

On the other hand
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
of a person brings few difficulties too. The
first
and foremost demerit of the exorbitant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
is that it might create an inflation in the market.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Thus
, the excessive money intake may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
the price of the products in the market.
As a result
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with a compatible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
could not satisfy their basic needs and the inequality
Possible spelling mistake found.
immerge
in the society between the rich and the poor.
For example
, the inflation in the market
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the food and shelter costly, which is
potentially
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
for a middle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
family.
Lastly
, the exorbitant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
materialistic and that might cause the exploitation of the scarce resources.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Thus
, the
extremely
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
creates trouble to the citizens
as well
as to the environment.

In conclusion
, the higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
of an individual has both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on the economy of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
. In my opinion, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should form policies with specific upper limit for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
of their citizens.
Otherwise
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
potential economic and environmental problems may occur.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The telephone have a greater influence on people s lives than television has v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
367 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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