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In recent time economic growth has made some people richer in both developed and developing countries. While studies show that people in developing countries are happier now than before, people in developed countries are no happier than they were before. v.1

In recent time economic growth has made some people richer in both developed and developing countries. While studies show that people in developing countries are happier now than before, people in developed countries are no happier than they were before. v. 1
Money cannot guarantee people's happiness. It is proved by experts that although economic growth has made people richer, people from developed countries feel less happy than they were before. In contrast, in poor countries, wealth make them happier. I will outline the reason why this phenomenon happened. In the case of developed countries, they are never starving. In the past, they can found meal everywhere and able to bought it. Before technology advanced, they already went to work such as farming or work in a factory. They had enough money to prevent them from starving. Another reason is the time of working. They worked several hours and have time to take a rest. Meanwhile, in recent year, they work overlap time hours. They have no time to do their interest or go on vacations with their family. It is because of competition among people. Their ambition encourages them to pursue their goal and achievement for enhancing their status. On the other hand, residents of developing countries feel happier than they were before because they ever lived in a lack of education and food. In the past, it was really hard for them to buy some food and studied in formal education. But today, since they are richer than before, they can get both of those terms. They can buy an important stuff for their life. Another reason is they can manage their time working well, so they still have time to interact with other people. In conclusion, I must say that what we can learn about two cases above is to love our life. It is true that we need to work and earn money for our life but it cannot be denied that we need to enjoy our life with our lovely people. So, we need to thanks for everything we have and we got.
Money cannot guarantee
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's happiness. It
is proved
by experts that although economic growth has made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
richer,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
feel less happy than they were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
.
In contrast
, in poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, wealth
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them happier. I will outline the reason why this phenomenon happened.

In the case of developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, they are never starving. In the past, they can
This form is ambiguous and can be used as past tense. Confirm that you are using the intended base form of the main verb after 'to do' as an auxiliary verb..
found
meal everywhere and able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
it.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Before
technology advanced, they already went to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
such as farming or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in a factory. They had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
them from starving. Another reason is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of working. They worked several hours and have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to take a rest. Meanwhile, in recent year, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
overlap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
hours. They have no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to do their interest or go on vacations with their family. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of competition among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Their ambition encourages them to pursue their goal and achievement for enhancing their status.

On the other hand
, residents of developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
feel happier than they were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they ever
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in a lack of education and food. In the past, it was
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
food and studied in formal education.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, since they are richer than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
both of those terms. They can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
stuff for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Another reason is they can manage their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
working well,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
still
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to interact with other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
say that what we can learn about two cases above is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. It is true that we need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and earn money for our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it cannot
be denied
that we need to enjoy our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
with our lovely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, we need
Did you mean "to thank"?
to thanks
for everything we
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
have and
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay In recent time economic growth has made some people richer in both developed and developing countries. While studies show that people in developing countries are happier now than before, people in developed countries are no happier than they were before. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
306 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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