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Many people believe that we have become a 'disposable' society, throwing things away rather than repairing them and reusing them. Why do you think that is? What are some of the possible problems this can cause? v.3

Many people believe that we have become a 'disposable' society, throwing things away rather than repairing them and reusing them. Why do you think that is? What are some of the possible problems this can cause? v. 3
There are arguments to suggest that people have become a great consumer of products without the initiative to recycle the old items, which are not functioning anymore. There are reasons behind this trend and a considerable number of repercussions in the society. Primarily, it could be argued that the advent of technology has an enormous contribution to the attitude of some individuals about personal equipment. It is often claimed that some factories have adopted the use of machines in manufacturing products such as appliances and cell phones, therefore they can hasten the reproduction but with low quality. Some businessmen have gathered the raw materials to other countries, which may provide frugal spare parts. Because of the cheap materials, these shop owners can decrease the price of their products that could be amenable to the public. Furthermore, there is a strong argument that asserts that the behaviour of the mankind has changed in this contemporary period due to advancement in technology. For instance, some people might not be so eager to bring their defected instruments to the repair centre because of the new model that may arise in the market. On the other hand, it is widely believed that there are negative effects of being nonchalant about the possibilities that a non-functional product could be use again. Firstly, it would contribute to the pollution because those products are certainly made from plastic and hazardous chemicals. To illustrate, a stock of cell phones cannot be disposed of easily through incineration. It would be a difficult problem if there was a surplus of those personal goods. These cell phones contain batteries which are deleterious to human’s health. Secondly, there is a view that this trend might be adopted by the next generation since the progress of technology is inevitable. For example, some youngsters might acclimatise to the view and habit of the seniority, thus this trend will be handed to their next offspring. To conclude, the advent of technology and the cheap products have piqued some people to be dissuaded from reusing superannuated items. It is the environment and the virtue of the next generation that will be affected by this trend.
There are arguments to suggest that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have become a great consumer of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
without the initiative to recycle the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
items, which are not functioning anymore. There are reasons behind this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
and a considerable number of repercussions in the society.

Primarily
, it could
be argued
that the advent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has an enormous contribution to the attitude of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals about personal equipment. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
claimed that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
factories have adopted the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of machines in manufacturing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
such as appliances and cell phones,
therefore
they can hasten the reproduction
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
with low quality.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
businessmen have gathered the raw materials to other countries, which may provide frugal spare parts.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
materials, these shop owners can decrease the price of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
that could be amenable to the public.
Furthermore
, there is a strong argument that asserts that the
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
of the mankind has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
in this contemporary period due to advancement in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
might not be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
eager to bring their defected instruments to the repair
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the new model that may arise in the market.

On the other hand
, it is
widely
believed that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects of being nonchalant about the possibilities that a non-functional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
again.
Firstly
, it would contribute to the pollution
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are
certainly
made from plastic and hazardous chemicals. To illustrate, a stock of cell phones cannot
be disposed
of
easily
through incineration. It would be a difficult problem if there was a surplus of those personal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
. These cell phones contain batteries which are deleterious to human’s health.
Secondly
, there is a view that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
might
be adopted
by the
next
generation since the progress of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is inevitable.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
youngsters might
Possible spelling mistake. 'acclimatise' is British English.
acclimatise
to the view and habit of the seniority,
thus
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
will
be handed
to their
next
offspring.

To conclude
, the advent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
have piqued
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
be dissuaded
from reusing superannuated items. It is the environment and the virtue of the
next
generation that will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
It is astonishing how much enjoyment one can get out of a language that one understands imperfectly.
Basil Lanneau Gildersleeve

IELTS essay Many people believe that we have become a 'disposable' society, throwing things away rather than repairing them and reusing them. Why do you think that is? What are some of the possible problems this can cause? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
359 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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