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Some people prefer to of exercise alone while others would like group sports. Which do you prefer? v.1

Some people prefer to of exercise alone while others would like group sports. Which do you prefer? v. 1
Exercise keeps the body in good shape and puts the mind in sound state. Some advocate participating in group sports while others give priority to individual activities. I side with the latter view. To begin with, to exercise alone is more convenient. Just think about how much time would be saved from preparing and organizing. When people engage in sports with family and friends, they have to agree upon a date and time available for all the participants, as well as a place to meet up. If you just happen to get caught in work and you have just had a bad day, then you will have to reschedule. That would put you in a tough spot because people have to meet halfway in order to make it work for you. As a result, you would end up calling your friends to apologize for causing inconvenience and having to bail on them. On the contrary, if you give it s shot to fly solo, you would spare all the trouble and have it all on your own terms. It won’t take more than a free afternoon and some dumbbells to practice weightlifting by yourself. You can increase the weight if you feel up to it or put if off to the next day when you are not in the mood for sports. Therefore, you can adjust according to your own preference without any trouble and guilt. Second, to exercise alone makes it easier to concentrate on sports itself. Sports activities are supposed to provide a temporary escape for the hustle and bustle of the modern life, but the truth is, group activities have turn sports into a new form of networking and socializing. Businessmen who go on a golf trip are not playing it for leisure and pleasure, but rather they are working on business deals and rubbing elbows with potential clients. This group activity serves them well because it offers a chance to bound through the club-swinging and hole in one. For such engagement, anxiety will build up quite soon while sports is just beside the point. However, individual activities like yoga and meditation take your mind off your work and life; soothing music and the focus on body and mind creates an outlet for stress. Quite similarly, jogging and marathon help foster persistence and endurance, because by spending time with yourself, an individual opens up a dialogue with the inner self and puts weight back to the essence of sports per se. To sum up, compared with group sports, to exercise alone is more preferable.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Exercise
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
the body in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
shape and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
puts
the mind in sound state.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
advocate participating in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
while others give priority to individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
. I side with the latter view.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
alone is more convenient.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about how much time would
be saved
from preparing and organizing. When
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
engage in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
with family and friends, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
upon a date and time available for all the participants,
as well
as a place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
up. If you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
happen to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
caught in work and you have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
had a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
day, then you will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
reschedule. That would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
put
you in a tough spot
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
halfway in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it work for you.
As a result
, you would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up calling your friends to apologize for causing inconvenience and having to bail on them.
On the contrary
, if you give it s shot to
fly
solo, you would spare all the trouble and have it all on your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
terms. It won’t take more than a free afternoon and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
dumbbells to practice weightlifting by yourself. You can increase the weight if you feel up to it or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
put
if off to the
next
day when you are not in the mood for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
.
Therefore
, you can adjust according to your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
preference without any trouble and guilt.

Second, to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
alone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it easier to concentrate on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
itself.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
are supposed
to provide a temporary escape for the hustle and bustle of the modern life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the truth is,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
have turn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
into a new form of networking and socializing. Businessmen who go on a golf trip are not playing it for leisure and pleasure,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
rather
they are working on business deals and rubbing elbows with potential clients. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
serves them well
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it offers a chance to bound through the club-swinging and hole in one. For such engagement, anxiety will build up quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
beside the point.
However
, individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
like yoga and meditation take your mind off your work and life; soothing music and the focus on body and mind creates an outlet for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
. Quite
similarly
, jogging and marathon
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
foster persistence and endurance,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
by spending time with yourself, an individual opens up a dialogue with the inner self and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
puts
weight back to the essence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
per se.

To sum up, compared with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
alone is more preferable.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay Some people prefer to of exercise alone while others would like group sports. Which do you prefer? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
427 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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