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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement It is much easier for people to achieve success without their family members’ help now than in the past? v.2

It is much easier for people to achieve success without their family members’ help now than in the past? v. 2
In today' s hectic city of life, in which life has trials and tribulations, vast majorities of people look for a better life regarding the trend of modern life. Various points of view which are germane to the matter being discussed brings us to the moot question as to whether it is easier to reach success regardless of parents' help than in the past. However, the popular sentiment to which I vehemently cling is that nowadays, people could not even imagine their success without their parents' help due to the fact that they need support and incentive to make a progress day in day out. So, without support, it is not an easy task to do. The underlying aim of this essay is to put forward some cogent reasons to shed light on a number of issues in this framework. To commence with, a plethora of people especially youth try hard and bend over backward to reach their goals and gain a long-lasting success in their personal lives. Broadly speaking, in the past people' s lives was independent and children did not rely on their parents' help. But today' s the lifestyle has changed at a very swift pace and young people are not able to guarantee their future lives. So, it is incumbent upon parents to support their children. In this case, not only can children reach a conspicuous success but also can reach everything they want in a blink of an eye. As a tangible example, parents nowadays listen consciously to the words of their children when they are in trouble and need help. So, ideas and opinion provided by parents will provide fertile ground for people to address their problems vigorously and successfully. To elucidate more on this issue, people are now dependent on their parents in comparison to past, which people lead an independent life. So, living independently will create some problems and people will face myriads of obstacles and barriers when it comes to success. Another equally salient point in corroborating my stance is that parents nowadays support their children financially, which makes reaching to success much easier. If we take a minute to ponder over it, in the past due to the paucity of fortune and wealth, hardly could people succeed because success needs patience and money. It can be deduced from a combination of breadth of coverage and depth of detail that parents provide the budget for their children, so they can easily run their own business and gain an impressive success. However, every coin has two sides. People these days even with their parents' support could not reach success due to lack of intelligence, hard-working attitude, aspiration, expectation, value and so forth. In this situation, hardly can people succeed even with support. However, it was a story in a nutshell; actually, there are more reasonable grounds that can lend weight to my personal perspective. In light of reasons elaborated, I reiterate that
In
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today&
#039; s hectic city of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, in which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
has trials and tribulations, vast majorities of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
look for a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
regarding the trend of modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Various points of view which are germane to the matter
being discussed
brings us to the moot question
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether", or rephrase the sentence to avoid "as to".
as to whether
it is easier to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
regardless of
Possible spelling mistake found.
parents&
#039;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
than in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
.
However
, the popular sentiment to which I
vehemently
cling is that nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could not even imagine their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
without their
Possible spelling mistake found.
parents&
#039;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
due to the fact that they need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
and incentive to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a progress day in day out.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
, it is not an easy task to do. The underlying aim of this essay is to put forward
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cogent reasons to shed light on a number of issues in this framework.

To commence with, a plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
especially
youth try
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
and bend over backward to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reach
their goals and gain a long-lasting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
in their personal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Broadly
speaking, in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
was independent and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
did not rely on their
Possible spelling mistake found.
parents&
#039;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
Possible spelling mistake found.
today&
#039; s the lifestyle has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
at a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
swift pace and young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not able to guarantee their future
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it is incumbent upon
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
In this case
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reach
a conspicuous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reach
everything they want in a blink of an eye. As a tangible example,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
nowadays listen
consciously
to the words of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
when they are in trouble and need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and opinion provided by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
will provide fertile ground for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to address their problems
vigorously
and
successfully
. To elucidate more on this issue,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
dependent on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
in comparison
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
lead an independent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, living
independently
will create
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will face myriads of obstacles and barriers when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to success.

Another
equally
salient point in corroborating my stance is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
financially
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
reaching to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
much easier. If we take a minute to ponder over it, in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
due to the paucity of fortune and wealth, hardly could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
succeed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
needs patience and money. It can
be deduced
from a combination of breadth of coverage and depth of detail that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
provide the budget for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can
easily
run their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
business and gain an impressive success.

However
, every coin has two sides.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
these days even with their
Possible spelling mistake found.
parents&
#039;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
could not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
due to lack of intelligence,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
-working attitude, aspiration, expectation, value and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
forth. In this situation, hardly can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
succeed even with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
.
However
, it was a story in a nutshell; actually, there are more reasonable grounds that can lend weight to my personal perspective.

In light of reasons elaborated, I reiterate that
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
59Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Language is wine upon the lips. – Virginia WoolfInspirational quotes for language learners
Virginia Woolf

IELTS essay It is much easier for people to achieve success without their family members’ help now than in the past? v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
489 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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