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The best way to increase students’ interest in a subject is to teach them the significance of this subject outside of school. v.2

The best way to increase students’ interest in a subject is to teach them the significance of this subject outside of school. v. 2
The university as an academic center, the main responsibility of which is to prepare students for having both a successful and professional life. Arguably, experiences acquired at the university make students decide their path and make a progress day in day out. Various points of view which are germane to the matter being discussed brings us to the moot question as to whether students' interest should be increased by subjects out of school. However, the popular sentiment to which I vehemently cling is that knowledge and experiences out of school are beneficial for students because they help students interpret the concept of a subject. The underlying aim of this essay is to put forward some cogent reasons to shed light on a number of issue in this framework. To commence with, it goes without saying that students play a consequential role in any given society owing to the fact that they are pillars of the nation and hardly can a society gets improve without knowledgeable students. Broadly speaking, in order to increase the interest of students in any subjects, there are several beneficial tasks to do, one of which is the educational trip. As a tangible example, last year in our university students had difficulties understanding the concept of structural engineering due to the paucity of practical knowledge. Then, the professor decided to take students to the science trip. So, this action not only did heighten students' interest in structural engineering but also helped students become familiar with the concept and future jobs and careers. So, students had learned the subject and the concept accurately and precisely. To elucidate more on this issue, vast majorities of students are bombarded with theoretical lessons at the school, so, they have less time to become familiar with knowledge in the real world. The educational trip will provide an opportunity for students to put their knowledge into practice and reach a higher education. Another salient point in corroborating my stance is that teachers should encourage students to take a part-time job as an intern. If we take a minute to ponder over it, a part-time job, not only can help students gain enough information and knowledge in any specific subject but also can help students put this information and experiences into practice. It can be deduced from a combination of breadth of coverage and depth of detail that gains information and experience as much as possible outside school will motivate students to keep on their education along with their interest. However, every coin has two sides. Take knowledge and experiences outside of the school into consideration might be waste of time and money. Indeed, if students are interested in any given realm, it is not necessarily needed to count on knowledge outside of the school. Experiences have shown us that students who are interested in their field of study are self-sufficient and knowledgeable people. So, they have enough motivation and interest to rely on and continue education to reach a pinnacle of their lives. However, it was a story in a nutshell; actually, there are more reasonable grounds that can lend weight to my personal perspective. In light of reasons elaborated, I reiterate that
The university as an academic center, the main responsibility of which is to prepare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
for having both a successful and professional life.
Arguably
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
acquired at the university
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
decide their path and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a progress day in day out. Various points of view which are germane to the matter
being discussed
brings us to the moot question
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether", or rephrase the sentence to avoid "as to".
as to whether
Possible spelling mistake found.
students&
#039;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
should
be increased
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
out of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
However
, the popular sentiment to which I
vehemently
cling is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
out of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
are beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
interpret the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concept
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
. The underlying aim of this essay is to put forward
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cogent reasons to shed light on a number of issue in this framework.

To commence with, it goes without saying that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
play a consequential role in any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
society owing to the fact that they are pillars of the nation and hardly can a society
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
without knowledgeable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
Broadly
speaking, in order to increase the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
, there are several beneficial tasks to do, one of which is the educational trip. As a tangible example, last year in our university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
had difficulties understanding the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concept
of structural engineering due to the paucity of practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
. Then, the professor decided to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to the science trip.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, this action not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
did heighten
Possible spelling mistake found.
students&
#039;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
in structural engineering
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
become familiar with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concept
and future jobs and careers.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
had learned the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concept
accurately
and
precisely
. To elucidate more on this issue, vast majorities of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are bombarded
with theoretical lessons at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, they have less time to become familiar with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
in the real world. The educational trip will provide an opportunity for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to put their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
into practice and reach a higher education.

Another salient point in corroborating my stance is that teachers should encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to take a part-time job as an intern. If we take a minute to ponder over it, a part-time job, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
gain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
information and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
in any specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
put this information and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
into practice. It can
be deduced
from a combination of breadth of coverage and depth of detail that gains information and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
as much as possible outside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
will motivate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
on their education along with their interest.

However
, every coin has two sides. Take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "outside".
outside of
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
into consideration might be waste of time and money.
Indeed
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are interested
in any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
realm, it is not
necessarily
needed to count on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "outside".
outside of
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Experiences
have shown us that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who
are interested
in their field of study are self-sufficient and knowledgeable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
motivation and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
to rely on and continue education to reach a pinnacle of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
However
, it was a story in a nutshell; actually, there are more reasonable grounds that can lend weight to my personal perspective.

In light of reasons elaborated, I reiterate that
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
53Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS essay The best way to increase students’ interest in a subject is to teach them the significance of this subject outside of school. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
529 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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