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. Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is better for children togrow up in countryside than in big cities. Use specific reasons to support your answer. v.1

. It is better for children togrow up in countryside than in big cities. Use specific reasons to support your answer. v. 1
Nowadays, young people have to deal with lots of problems in their studies so they do not even have their own time to relax or do whatever they like. Especially when many exams and assignments are given at the same time. The cause of this is that the students had to study at school, extra classes or centres to understand more knowledge that helps them on the exams. By the way, they must learn fourteen subjects at school so that sometimes they can easily feel stressed. Not only that, but the expectation of parents and peer pressure can also make them to force themselves more. For example, parents always desire their children to make good marks and excel in many areas because they do not really care about children’s feeling and they just want their children to become successful. The issue can be resolved by having a useful plan to learn all subjects effectively for important competitions. In spite of a lot of exams, you will not be anxiety. In addition, creating an online group to discuss and share valuable skills is also a good way to improve or push yourself better. On the other hand, parents should encourage their children by giving them presents or the compliments instead of constraining them to do what they do not interested in. To sum up, young people have to work hard in their studies to not fall behind with their friends and it can lead to the tiredness so it is totally essential to balance between studying and playing.
Nowadays, young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
deal with lots of problems in their studies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they do not even have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
time to relax or do whatever they like.
Especially
when
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
exams and assignments are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
at the same time.

The cause of this is that the students had to study at school, extra classes or
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
to understand more knowledge that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them on the exams. By the way, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
learn fourteen subjects at school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
they can
easily
feel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the expectation of parents and peer pressure can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them to force themselves more.
For example
, parents always desire their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
marks and excel in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
areas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not
really
care about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
feeling and
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
want their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to become successful.

The issue can
be resolved
by having a useful plan to learn all subjects
effectively
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
competitions.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
exams, you will not be anxiety.
In addition
, creating an online group to discuss and share valuable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
is
also
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
or push yourself better.
On the other hand
, parents should encourage their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
by giving them presents or the compliments
instead
of constraining them to do what they do not interested in.

To sum up, young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
in their studies to not fall behind with their friends and it can lead to the tiredness
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is
totally
essential to balance between studying and playing.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay . It is better for children togrow up in countryside than in big cities. Use specific reasons to support your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
257 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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