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Describe a successful leader who you admire, You should say: Who the person isWhat makes him/her a good leaderWhy you admire this personWhether this person has influenced you. v.1

Describe a successful leader who you admire, You should say: Who the person isWhat makes him/her a good leaderWhy you admire this personWhether this person has influenced you. v. 1
With the development of today world, several languages seem to disappear; however, there are people who think that it does not matter as the fewer languages in the world, the easier life becomes. In this essay, I will try to elaborate the issue as I disagree with the belief above. First and foremost, a language represents for a particular culture; therefore, should a language disappear, the culture will probably be lost. For instance, many tales or historic stories belonging to a specific land or country, which are hardly translated into “global language” like English, will have to face the risk of being forgotten and gone forever. The lost of languages can also affect the culture diversity as it makes our world become more colourlessly than it used to be. To be more specific, when people visit a different-spoken-language country, they will find out how interesting it can be when knowing something new and distinctive through that language. Secondly, there will be much difficulties in universalizing a different language in some countries. Particularly, teaching the majority how to use a language which is no way alike their mother one is such a big challenge as their mindset are for the mother language. Furthermore, changing a whole country’s language into a completely new one requires a lot of time. Therefore, it will not be easier for the world even when there are fewer language. In conclusion, it is essential to care about all languages around the world and everyone should take keeping them alive seriously.
With the development of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
, several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
seem to disappear;
however
, there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it does not matter as the fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
, the easier life becomes. In this essay, I will try to elaborate the issue as I disagree with the belief above.

First
and foremost, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
represents for a particular culture;
therefore
, should a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
disappear, the culture will
probably
be lost
.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
tales or historic stories belonging to a specific land or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, which are hardly translated into “global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language”
like English, will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of
being forgotten
and gone forever. The lost of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
can
also
affect the culture diversity as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
become more
Possible spelling mistake found.
colourlessly
than it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be. To be more specific, when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
visit a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
-spoken-language
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, they will find out how interesting it can be when knowing something new and distinctive through that language.

Secondly
, there will be
Use "many" with countable nouns.
much
difficulties in universalizing a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
Particularly
, teaching the majority how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
which is no way alike their mother one is such a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
challenge as their mindset are for the mother
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
.
Furthermore
, changing a whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
into a completely new one requires
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time.
Therefore
, it will not be easier for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
even when there are fewer language.

In conclusion
, it is essential to care about all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
and everyone should take keeping them alive
seriously
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Describe a successful leader who you admire, You should say: Who the person isWhat makes him/her a good leaderWhy you admire this personWhether this person has influenced you. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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