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Describe a historical building you have visited. You should say, Where the building is located. What it looks like. What it is used for. Whether this building is popular with tourists. v.1

Describe a historical building you have visited. You should say, Where the building is located. What it looks like. What it is used for. Whether this building is popular with tourists. v. 1
It is true that some television programs and movies are full of violent scenes and content nowadays. Although there would be some negative social problems of this trend, some measures can be taken to tackle these problems by government and individuals. it is obvious that several related problems can be anticipated as a result of this phenomenon. The first problem lies in that violent shows may have negative influences on children's mental development. It means that children can mimic violent actions unconsciously by watching movies and then copy it in the real life which will affect them even when becoming adults. For example, most violent criminal are statistically affected by their violent parent in their childhood, which made them mimic their parent's acts when they are adults. Secondly, by displaying such a violent scene on the hit box, it can increase the number of violent criminals and murders. Only by seeing those scenes in public, they think that it can be stimulated to do violent actions or hurt others. There are many solutions for the problem described above. The first solution is for government to do some strict policies to censor violent shows before display on public and prohibit show-maker to do such content. The second remedy should be that parent should control their children and make sure to educate them as doing violent actions unconsciously. In conclusion, various measures can be taken to tackle the problems that may cause a lot of serious consequences in human being's development and social.
It is true that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
television programs and movies are full of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
scenes and content nowadays. Although there would be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
of this trend,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
measures can
be taken
to tackle these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and individuals.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
is obvious that several related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
can
be anticipated
as a result
of this phenomenon. The
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
lies in that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
may have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
influences on children's mental development. It means that children can mimic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
actions
unconsciously
by watching movies and then copy it in the real life which will affect them even when becoming adults.
For example
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
criminal are
statistically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
parent in their childhood, which made them mimic their parent's acts when they are adults.
Secondly
, by displaying such a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
scene on the hit box, it can increase the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
criminals and murders.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
by seeing those scenes in public, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it can
be stimulated
to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
actions or hurt others.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
solutions for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
described
above. The
first
solution is for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
strict policies to censor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
display on public and prohibit
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
-maker to do such content. The second remedy should be that parent should control their children and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure to educate them as doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
actions
unconsciously
.

In conclusion
, various measures can
be taken
to tackle the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
that may cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
serious consequences in human being's development and social.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
The joy of knowing a foreign language is inexpressible. I find it really difficult to express such joy in my mother tongue.
Munia Khan

IELTS essay Describe a historical building you have visited. You should say, Where the building is located. What it looks like. What it is used for. Whether this building is popular with tourists. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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