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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement In my country young people have a better life today than their parents enjoyed when they were young v.1

In my country young people have a better life today than their parents enjoyed when they were young v. 1
In modern times, the issue of getting a job has become highly controversial. There are those who say that university education gives to opportunity to get a job however, others think that having experience and developing skills is more important to find a job. In this essay, I will examine both sides of the argument and provide my overall opinion. Generally speaking, there are two main reasons why some people believe that getting a good job is depend on the academy education. Perhaps the main reason why people are in favour of this idea because academy Knowledge supply high qualification. A good illustration of this that someone who completed the university education such as medicine can gain technical knowledge about the human body and threatening illnesses. A further point in favour of completing a university education to find a career is that good tuition gives two different points of view. If you gave an engineering degree from a good educational institution, you can see the problem with different direction and produce quick solution. Despite these arguments, there is also a case for the idea that having experience and developing soft skills gives priority to people who want to find a good career. The main reason why people think that is a good idea is because it could positively affect some work field. For example, some skills like communication and leadership experience is more important than a good literacy for some position such as sales, marketing and advertisement. In conclusion, this is, a topic, which is very relevant to modern society. Despite the arguments to the contrary, I feel very strongly that completing the educational institution education should be more important especially for younger people. If they gain a higher education degree, they will probably easily find a good job.
In modern times, the issue of getting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
has become
highly
controversial. There are those who say that university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
gives to opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
however
, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that having experience and developing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. In this essay, I will examine both sides of the argument and provide my
overall
opinion.

Generally
speaking, there are two main reasons why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that getting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is
Consider using a past participle here: "depended".
depend
on the academy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. Perhaps the main reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
academy


Knowledge supply high qualification. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
illustration of this that someone who completed the university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
such as medicine can gain technical knowledge about the human body and threatening illnesses. A
further
point in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of completing a university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
a career is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
tuition gives two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
points of view. If you gave an engineering degree from a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
educational institution, you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the problem with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
direction and produce quick solution.

Despite these arguments, there is
also
a case for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that having experience and developing soft
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
gives priority to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
career. The main reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that is
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it could
positively
affect
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
work field.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
like communication and leadership experience is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
literacy for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
position such as sales, marketing and advertisement.

In conclusion
, this is, a topic, which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
relevant to modern society. Despite the arguments to the contrary, I feel
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
strongly
that completing the educational institution
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
should be more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
especially
for younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. If they gain a higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
degree, they will
probably
easily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay In my country young people have a better life today than their parents enjoyed when they were young v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
299 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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