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Take a look at the graphic and complete the task. The table shows average calorie intake in the United States over a period of time. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should spend v.3

Take a look at the graphic and complete the task. The table shows average calorie intake in the United States over a period of time.
Due to the sophisticated technology, a plethora of information can be accessed online by people from any age group. A segment of the population holds the view that children’s learning process should only be held on the internet, while others are of the opinion that published books should only be utilized rather than online materials. In my opinion, both methods of learning can be used, however, printed books should be made first priority for children. On the one hand, proponents of the former opinion above claim that children should just use digital reading materials as they have superiority in many aspects. First of all, a wide range of information can be found online from different resources within a limited time. For example, websites such as Google, YouTube or Wikipedia are full of updated and useful materials which are a demonstration of excellence of digitization. Moreover, most of online materials can be downloaded free of charge from diverse resources and it is another plus side. On the other hand, many individuals argue that children should continue to use printed books because of their effectiveness in the readability. By the way of example, in a survey, a majority of school children stated that they were better at comprehending different information with published materials. Furthermore, they do not have a detrimental impact on children’s visual abilities as they do not cause eye defects. From my point of view, students should continue to use the conventional method of learning with printed books compared to online materials. The reason is that spending a lot of time behind a computer can harm children's eye at a very early age, whereas utilization of published materials mitigates this health risk. Additionally, online resources are not always reliable since some websites can give people wrong data which is another problem with digitalisation. To conclude, usage of only whether printed or digital materials is not feasible, particularly, in this modern era. Nevertheless, it would be better that children should minimize using online books due to their negative effects.
Due to the sophisticated technology, a plethora of information can
be accessed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from any age group. A segment of the population holds the view that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
learning process should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be held
on the internet, while others are of the opinion that published
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be utilized
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
. In my opinion, both methods of learning can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
,
however
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
should
be made
first
priority for children.

On the one hand, proponents of the former opinion above claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
digital reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
as they have superiority in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, a wide range of information can
be found
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
resources within a limited time.
For example
, websites such as Google, YouTube or Wikipedia are full of updated and useful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
which are a demonstration of excellence of digitization.
Moreover
, most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
can
be downloaded
free of charge from diverse resources and it is another plus side.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should continue to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their effectiveness in the readability. By the way of example, in a survey, a majority of school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
stated that they were better at comprehending
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
information with published
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
.
Furthermore
, they do not have a detrimental impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
visual abilities as they do not cause eye defects.

From my point of view, students should continue to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the conventional method of learning with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
. The reason is that spending
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time behind a computer can harm children's eye at a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
early age, whereas utilization of published
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
mitigates this health
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
.
Additionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
resources are not always reliable since
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
websites can give
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
data which is another problem with
Possible spelling mistake. 'digitalisation' is British English.
digitalisation
.

To conclude
, usage of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
printed
or digital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
is not feasible,
particularly
, in this modern era.
Nevertheless
, it would be better that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should minimize using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
due to their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Take a look at the graphic and complete the task. The table shows average calorie intake in the United States over a period of time.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
338 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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