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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement All jobs should provide some opportunity for physical exercise Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer v.1

All jobs should provide some opportunity for physical exercise Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer v. 1
Currently, many parents tend to be busy working, and they need to rely on someone else to take care of their offspring. While some people think childcare organisations can offer the best care, I would argue that it is better for children to be looked after by their grandparents. On the one hand, it is believed that youngsters should be sent to childcare centres for some reasons. The first one is that since those centres are professional organisations, their staff are often well trained and therefore have good babysitting skills. For example, when a child falls over and gets himself injured, a staff can react quickly and give him first aid. Furthermore, children can have a chance to make friends with their peers when coming there, which might increase their communication and language abilities. If they are looked after by their family at home, they might feel a bit lonely. On the other hand, I believe it is a better idea for grandparents to take care of their grandchildren. Firstly, as grandparents have lived for many years and have brought up their own offspring, they have much experience in raising children. For instance, they might know how to calm the baby down when he cries. Secondly, grandparents are family members, so they love their grandchildren more than other people do. As a result, they tend to spend much more time and effort caring for their grandchildren compared to a childcare staff member. Finally, youngsters looked after by their grandparents are likely to become more family-oriented and appreciate the value of a happy family. In conclusion, while there are some benefits of children being sent to childcare centres, I believe they should be raised by their own grandparents.
Currently
,
many
parents tend to be busy working, and they need to rely on someone else to take care of their offspring. While
some
people
think
childcare
organisations
can offer the best care, I would argue that it is better for
children
to
be looked
after by their grandparents.

On the one hand, it
is believed
that youngsters should be
sent
to childcare
centres
for
some
reasons. The
first
one is that since those
centres
are professional
organisations
, their staff are
often
well trained
and
therefore
have
good
babysitting
skills
.
For example
, when a child falls over and
gets
himself injured, a staff can react
quickly
and give him
first
aid.
Furthermore
,
children
can have a chance to
make
friends with their peers when coming there, which might increase their communication and language abilities. If they
are looked
after by their family at home, they might feel a bit lonely.

On the other hand
, I believe it is a better
idea
for
grandparents
to take care of their grandchildren.
Firstly
, as
grandparents
have
lived
for
many
years and have brought up their
own
offspring, they have much experience in raising
children
.
For instance
, they might know how to calm the baby down when he cries.
Secondly
,
grandparents
are family members,
so
they
love
their grandchildren more than other
people
do.
As a result
, they tend to spend much more time and effort caring for their grandchildren compared to a childcare staff member.
Finally
, youngsters looked after by their
grandparents
are likely to become more family-oriented and appreciate the value of a happy family.

In conclusion
, while there are
some
benefits of
children
being
sent
to childcare
centres
, I believe they should
be raised
by their
own
grandparents
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
The limits of my language mean the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay All jobs should provide some opportunity for physical exercise Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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