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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? A minimum number of physical education credits should be required for graduation college. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.876

A minimum number of physical education credits should be required for graduation college. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 876
Nowadays, a large amount of colleges does not require physical education credits for graduation. Personally, I believe that there should be no standardized requirements and sport should be an independent person’s choice. I feel this way for two main reasons, which I will explore in the following essay. First of all people are individual and have different habits and priorities. Many students wish to focus fully on their studies in the area that they have chosen. Continuously, physical education credits put learners under the pressure. My own experience is a compelling example of this. Due to my lifestyle, I spend a big part of my day training, but despite this, I am still obliged to pass standards on physical education. For me, it is just a waste of time, as I want to concentrate fully on my studies while being at the University. Secondly, physical education is too unified. Student’s desires and hobbies are not counted, as there is a global system for all Universities of the country. Furthermore, it stands against the principles of democracy and equality of rights. For instance at my school we had to get credits for gymnastics every year, which I have hated for all my life. In such a way, I could not be an excellent student, although being successful in other kinds of sport and having the best marks in all other subjects. In conclusion, I believe that students should be responsible for their body conditions on their own. Without a full concentration great goals cannot be reached. Current system oppresses a large amount of pupils who cannot fully realize the potential.
Nowadays, a large amount of colleges does not require
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
credits for graduation.
Personally
, I believe that there should be no standardized requirements and sport should be an independent person’s choice. I feel this way for two main reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are individual and have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
habits and priorities.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
wish to focus
fully
on their studies in the area that they have chosen.
Continuously
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
credits put learners under the pressure. My
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
experience is a compelling example of this. Due to my lifestyle, I spend a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
part of my day training,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
despite this, I am
still
obliged to pass standards on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. For me, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a waste of time, as I want to concentrate
fully
on my studies while being at the University.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is too unified.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Student’s
desires and hobbies are not counted, as there is a global system for all Universities of the country.
Furthermore
, it stands against the principles of democracy and equality of rights.
For instance
at my school we had to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
credits for gymnastics every year, which I have hated for all my life. In such a way, I could not be an excellent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
, although being successful in other kinds of sport and having the best marks in all other subjects.
In conclusion
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should be responsible for their body conditions on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
. Without a full concentration great goals cannot
be reached
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Current
system oppresses a large amount of pupils who cannot
fully
realize the potential.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay A minimum number of physical education credits should be required for graduation college. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 876

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
269 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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