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Discuss the advantages of promotion based on seniority or performance and provide your point of view. v.1

Discuss the advantages of promotion based on seniority or performance and provide your point of view. v. 1
Many people in my country envision working for one organization their entire lives. This is because they do not want to start hunting for jobs again. I posit that almost nobody would deny a promotion within the company he or she works for. But how should promotions be granted? This paper will discuss the advantages of promoting people based on their seniority or performance. A short conclusion will wind it up. On one hand, promoting people based on their seniority is acknowledging the effort they' ve put in for the development of the company. Doing so will encourage junior employers to work hard to ensure that they become senior employees as well. For example, my cousin Albert had worked for Bill Farm, an agricultural firm in Senegal, for 20 years when he got promoted to the position of C. E. O. Elisa, his sister who was a junior in the company, ensured that she never quit it as a result of her brother' s promotion. Over a period of 10 years, she was promoted, so were many other people within the organization. Promoting workers based on the time they spent in a firm is an effective way to keep the ones who really know the company and can improve it outcomes. On the other hand, performance-based promotions are great means to encourage people to work hard within their company. In fact, when everybody knows that if they are going to work their way up through working hard, they will be prompted to do so. This will create a positive professional competition in the company and increase the productivity. As an example, when I was an academic assistant at Bridge2Rwanda, they promoted me to become the leader of the teams of academic assistants because my students performed way better than others. Because of my promotion, my colleague named Chris worked harder than me in the following year and his students outperformed mine. Our competition helped us give our students the best of us; consequently, we improved the mission of the Bridge2Rwanda high school. Granting promotion based on an employee' s performance will enable them to work hard in order to avoid becoming average workers. In my opinion, it' s better to promote people based on their performance at work. Promoting according to the time one has spent in the company is unfair because being a senior does not necessarily mean being the most productive. The most productive employers should be the ones getting promoted because they are the ones ensuring that the organization is making profit and running properly.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in my country envision working for one organization their entire
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
hunting for jobs again. I posit that almost nobody would deny a promotion within the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
he or she works for.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
how should promotions
be granted
? This paper will discuss the advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
promoting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
based on their seniority or performance. A short conclusion will wind it up.

On one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
promoting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
based on their seniority is acknowledging the effort
Possible spelling mistake found.
they&
#039; ve put in for the development of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
. Doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
will encourage junior employers to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
to ensure that they become senior employees
as well
.
For example
, my cousin Albert had worked for Bill Farm, an agricultural firm in Senegal, for 20 years when he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
promoted
to the position of C. E. O. Elisa, his sister who was a junior in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
, ensured that she never quit it
as a result
of her
Possible spelling mistake found.
brother&
#039; s promotion. Over a period of 10 years, she was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
promoted
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
within the organization.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Promoting
workers based on the time they spent in a firm is an effective way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
who
really
know the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
and can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
it outcomes.

On the other hand
, performance-based promotions are great means to encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
within their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
. In fact, when everybody knows that if they are going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
their way up through working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
, they will
be prompted
to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
. This will create a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
professional competition in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
and increase the productivity. As an example, when I was an academic assistant at Bridge2Rwanda, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
promoted
me to become the leader of the teams of academic assistants
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
my students performed way better than others.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of my promotion, my colleague named Chris worked harder than me in the following year and his students outperformed mine. Our competition
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
us give our students the best of us;
consequently
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
the mission of the Bridge2Rwanda high school. Granting promotion based on an
Possible spelling mistake found.
employee&
#039; s performance will enable them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
in order to avoid becoming average workers.

In my opinion,
Possible spelling mistake found.
it&
#039; s better to promote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
based on their performance at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Promoting
according to the time one has spent in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
is unfair
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
being a senior does not
necessarily
mean being the most productive. The most productive employers should be the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
promoted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
ensuring that the organization is making profit and running
properly
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Discuss the advantages of promotion based on seniority or performance and provide your point of view. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
428 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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