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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? When people spend a lot of time watching sports on television or following their favorite team, does it have negative effects on their lives? v.863

When people spend a lot of time watching sports on television or following their favorite team, does it have negative effects on their lives? v. 863
In the modern society, people love to enjoy the sports games in front of the television. Therefore, it raises the question that whether this behavior will bring the negative effects to the people. I take the position that if people spend a lot of time watching ball games, it will decrease their life standard. First, the people who indulge in watching sports on television will have less time to complete the work important to them. To elaborate, if they spend the whole day watching the ball game, then they cannot concentrate on their own works. Take my classmates Jimmy for example. When Jimmy was a high school student, he was a big fan of baseball. Hence, after dinner, he would sit in front of the television and watched the baseball game for about four hours. Due to this habit, he did not have enough time to review his homework and often fail on the test, which made his parents feel disappointed. Thankfully, our teacher encouraged Jimmy to reduce the time of watching the baseball game until the university entrance test finished. And Jimmy followed our teacher' s advice. Only watched the television on the weekend, causing him to pass with the flying colors in the entrance test and finally enter the best university in our country. Furthermore, people who enjoy watching television for a long time might be lack of exercise, meaning that they are not healthy. The worst thing is that if they also do not have a regular and healthy diet habit because of longtime television watching, this will hurt them bodies seriously. Take myself for example. I favored watching basketball games at the university. That was why I always stayed in the dormitory to enjoy the exciting game and seldom went out. To have a more convenient watching surrounding, I would prepare popcorn and cola to replace my dinner. All of these decreased my health day by day and eventually, at one day I felt uncomfortable in the dormitory and was sent to the hospital. After recovering, I changed my lifestyle. Because I could not give up my favorite sport, I chose to play the basketball with my classmates instead of watching television in the dormitory. Besides, I also altered my eating habit and always cooked by myself to gain enough nutrition. Many people may argue that spending a lot of time watching sports can learn a lot of knowledge about the ball games and sometimes can make friends with people having the common interest. However, I insist that we can learn additional sports knowledge and make friends from different sources such as joining a sports content. Therefore, do not be penny wise and pound foolish. The disadvantage of watching television for a long time exceeds its benefits. In conclusion, I hold the belief it offers many negative effects on people life when they use a lot of time watching sports games. It not only makes people have less time to conduct the essential stuff but also decreases our health.
In the modern society,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to enjoy the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
in front of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
.
Therefore
, it raises the question that whether this behavior will bring the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. I take the position that if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
watching ball
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, it will decrease their life standard.

First
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who indulge in watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
will have less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to complete the work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to them. To elaborate, if they spend the whole day watching the ball game, then they cannot concentrate on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
works. Take my classmates Jimmy
for example
. When Jimmy was a high school student, he was a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
fan of baseball.
Hence
, after dinner, he would sit in front of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
the baseball game for about four hours. Due to this habit, he did not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to review his homework and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
fail on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
, which made his parents feel disappointed.
Thankfully
, our teacher encouraged Jimmy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of watching the baseball game until the university entrance
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
finished. And Jimmy followed our
Possible spelling mistake found.
teacher&
#039; s advice.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
on the weekend, causing him to pass with the flying colors in the entrance
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
and
finally
enter the best university in our country.

Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who enjoy watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
for a long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
might be lack of exercise, meaning that they are not healthy. The worst thing is that if they
also
do not have a regular and healthy diet habit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of longtime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
watching, this will hurt them bodies
seriously
. Take myself
for example
. I favored watching basketball
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
at the university. That was why I always stayed in the dormitory to enjoy the exciting game and seldom went out. To have a more convenient watching surrounding, I would prepare popcorn and cola to replace my dinner. All of these decreased my health day by day and
eventually
, at one day I felt uncomfortable in the dormitory and was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to the hospital. After recovering, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
my lifestyle.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
I could not give up my favorite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
, I chose to play the basketball with my classmates
instead
of watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
in the dormitory.
Besides
, I
also
altered my eating habit and always cooked by myself to gain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
nutrition.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may argue that spending a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
can learn a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of knowledge about the ball
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
friends with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
having the common interest.
However
, I insist that we can learn additional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
knowledge and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
friends from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
sources such as joining a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
content.
Therefore
, do not be penny wise and pound foolish. The disadvantage of watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
for a long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
exceeds its benefits.

In conclusion
, I hold the belief it offers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
life when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. It not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to conduct the essential stuff
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
decreases our health.
18Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
42Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay When people spend a lot of time watching sports on television or following their favorite team, does it have negative effects on their lives? v. 863

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
503 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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