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It is better to make friends with intelligent people than with the people who have a good sense of humor. v.2

It is better to make friends with intelligent people than with the people who have a good sense of humor. v. 2
Having a glimpse of contemporary society, where most citizens are under too much pressure with the speed of normal lives accelerating dramatically, people have a burning desire to express their feelings and release largely depending on getting along with friends, going hiking or having a cup of coffee and so forth. But when it comes to which kind of friends is better choice, viewpoints of different people may divert from one to another. To illustrate, some may assert that intelligent guys would be preference for they would be able to offer you some valuable advice and help you get through troubles. However, as far as I am concerned, I prefer to express my appreciation of people with a good sense of humor. Initially, with this kind of friends around, citizens would easily empty their mind, getting rid of unpleasant things. Their sense of humor, generated naturally with their words, motion and attitude, will conduct a positive effect to humans at their vicinity, making you unwind and further possessing an optimistic and enthusiastic emotion. Personally, with these merits, people would face problems and arduous condition confidently. Take my friend Monica, a humorous girl at my university, as an example. Monica is that kind of person who could always have a good sense of humor, whenever even encountering whatever puzzle it is. Comparing to her attitude, I was the person who would get confused and upset faced with tiny problem. Fortunately, Monica will amuse me and tell me keep faith and never listen to anyone who said I could not or I should not, which really bring the sunlight into my heart. Accordingly, I can still remember her warm and pure smile, when dealing with any problems now. Admittedly, intelligent people would give their friends insight to a certain thing. To elaborate, if people were stuck into a severe situation or ran into a problem, intelligent friends would help them find the sticking point hide it and patiently teach them the methods and solutions to it, averting them from this type of puzzle in the future. While as a matter of fact, plausible as it sounds, the view above does not hold water. Since in reality, the harsh situation people confronting usually could not be understood and sympathize. As a result, intelligent as our friends are, they cannot offer their aid, merely watching you, sorrow in deep heart. Considering what I discussed above, making friends with a humor man or woman, I think, would be a better option.
Having a glimpse of contemporary society, where most citizens are under too much pressure with the speed of normal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
accelerating
dramatically
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a burning desire to express their feelings and release
largely
depending on getting along with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
, going hiking or having a cup of coffee and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
forth.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to which kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
is better choice, viewpoints of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may divert from one to another. To illustrate,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
may assert that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligent
guys would be preference for they would be able to offer you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
valuable advice and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
through troubles.
However
, as far as I
am concerned
, I prefer to express my appreciation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
sense of humor.

Initially
, with this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
around, citizens would
easily
empty their mind, getting rid of unpleasant things. Their sense of humor, generated
naturally
with their words, motion and attitude, will conduct a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect to humans at their vicinity, making you unwind and
further
possessing an optimistic and enthusiastic emotion.
Personally
, with these merits,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would face
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
and arduous condition
confidently
. Take my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
Monica, a humorous girl at my university, as an example. Monica is that kind of person who could always have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
sense of humor, whenever even encountering whatever puzzle it is. Comparing to her attitude, I was the person who would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
confused and upset faced with tiny
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
.
Fortunately
, Monica will amuse me and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
me
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
faith and never listen to anyone who said I could not or I should not, which
really
bring the sunlight into my heart.
Accordingly
, I can
still
remember her warm and pure smile, when dealing with any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.

Admittedly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would give their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
insight to a certain thing. To elaborate, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were stuck
into a severe situation or ran into a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them find the sticking point
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hide
it and
patiently
teach them the methods and solutions to it, averting them from this type of puzzle in the future. While as a matter of fact, plausible as it sounds, the view above does not hold water. Since in reality, the harsh situation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
confronting
usually
could not
be understood
and sympathize.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligent
as our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
are, they cannot offer their aid,
merely
watching you, sorrow in deep heart.

Considering what I discussed above, making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
with a humor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
or woman, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
, would be a better option.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay It is better to make friends with intelligent people than with the people who have a good sense of humor. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
416 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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