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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? If people want to fully enjoy their vacations, they should leave their cellphones home. v.853

If people want to fully enjoy their vacations, they should leave their cellphones home. v. 853
With the advancement of living standard, more and more people travel to many places of interest when they are freed from work or study. During their travels, cellphones play an indispensable part. So, people cannot enjoy their vacations without their cellphones. First of all, mobile phones can keep us in contact with other companions when travelling. There are often some urgent occasions in our trips, so at this time we need the assistance of cellphones. For instance, several years ago my friends and I went to Hainan Island over the summer break. Before starting our trip, we had found a tour guide in Hainan who promised to pick us up from the airport and to drop us off at the hotel. Once we landed, we made a call with him immediately and finally he successfully finished the task. Furthermore, Hainan Island is not like some big cities like Shanghai which has well-developed metro system and is full of natural senses. Because of this, sightseers are likely to get lost in the way. When people get lost, they can only rely on their cellphones to ask for help. Therefore, during our vacations mobile phones can help us a lot in some necessary occasions. Secondly, we can know a new place thoroughly through using cellphones. When arriving in a new place, we do not know too much about the local culture such as food. For example, my classmate and I visited Shanghai last year. At noon one day, we decided to have lunch on East Nanjing Road but we did not know which restaurant is worthwhile. Afterwards, we used APPs on cellphone to find the most well-known restaurants nearby. Through APPs we can also see many comments from customers whatever good or bad. Thanks to cellphone, we had dons some researches on the local food for a few minutes and quickly found the distinctive restaurant. As we expected, the food was tasty and the price reasonable. Without mobile phones, we might not have found such delicious and inexpensive food. Thus, cellphones can bring us a pretty wonderful experience in a new place. Admittedly, cellphones do have some negative effects on our vacations. Some people may be addicted to their virtual world and neglect opportunities of face-to-face communication with their travel companions. However, travelling outside is not like sitting in the office. People spend most of their time walking or even climbing. If people are travelling while playing their mobile phones, they must pay attention to the surroundings in order to prevent them from tumbling. So, those who are immersed in cellphones do not have many opportunities to have enough fun from their cellphones and not play them for a long time. Therefore, even though people bring cellphones with them, cellphones do not have too much bad influence on people. Based on several reasonings, cellphones are an indispensable tool for our vacations and indeed help us substantially.
With the advancement of living standard, more and more
people
travel to
many
places of interest when they
are freed
from work or study. During their travels, cellphones play an indispensable part.
So
,
people
cannot enjoy their
vacations
without their cellphones.

First of all
, mobile
phones
can
keep
us in contact with other companions when travelling. There are
often
some
urgent occasions
in our trips
,
so
at this time we need the assistance of cellphones.
For instance
, several years ago my friends and I went to Hainan Island over the summer break.
Before
starting our trip, we had found a tour guide in Hainan who promised to pick us up from the airport and to drop us off at the hotel. Once we landed, we made a call with him immediately and
finally
he
successfully
finished the task.
Furthermore
, Hainan Island is not like
some
big
cities like Shanghai which has well-developed metro system and is full of natural senses.
Because of this
, sightseers are likely to
get
lost in the way. When
people
get
lost, they can
only
rely on their cellphones to
ask for
help
.
Therefore
, during our
vacations
mobile
phones
can
help
us a lot in
some
necessary occasions.

Secondly
, we can know a new place
thoroughly
through using cellphones. When arriving in a new place, we do not know too much about the local culture such as
food
.
For example
, my classmate and I visited Shanghai last year. At noon one day, we decided to have lunch on East Nanjing Road
but
we did not know which restaurant is worthwhile. Afterwards, we
used
APPs
on cellphone to find the most well-known restaurants nearby. Through
APPs
we can
also
see
many
comments from customers whatever
good
or
bad
. Thanks to cellphone, we had dons
some
researches on the local
food
for a few minutes and
quickly
found the distinctive restaurant. As we
expected
, the
food
was tasty and the price reasonable. Without mobile
phones
, we might not have found such delicious and inexpensive
food
.
Thus
, cellphones can bring us a pretty wonderful experience in a new place.

Admittedly
, cellphones do have
some
negative
effects on our
vacations
.
Some
people
may
be addicted
to their virtual world and neglect opportunities of face-to-face communication with their travel companions.
However
, travelling outside is not like sitting in the office.
People
spend most of their time walking or even climbing. If
people
are travelling while playing their mobile
phones
, they
must
pay attention to the surroundings in order to
prevent
them from tumbling.
So
, those who
are immersed
in cellphones do not have
many
opportunities to have
enough
fun from their cellphones and not play them for a long time.
Therefore
,
even though
people
bring cellphones with them, cellphones do not have too much
bad
influence on
people
.

Based on several
reasonings
, cellphones are an indispensable tool for our
vacations
and
indeed
help
us
substantially
.
17Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay If people want to fully enjoy their vacations, they should leave their cellphones home. v. 853

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
484 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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