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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The government is not educating people enough about the importance of living a balanced and healthy life style. v.847

The government is not educating people enough about the importance of living a balanced and healthy life style. v. 847
Usually, people possess different opinions on whether the government educates people enough to live a healthy life style. While some believe that the government has done enough to educate people, others have different opinion. From my personal observation, I disagree with this statement. First of all, the government is limited by budget, and there is not much it can do to urge people to live a balanced life style. To elaborate, the government has different aspects to take care of, and every aspect needs to spend money. Accordingly, in education of the importance of a healthy life style, there is not much effort the government can do. However, the government still made some effort to educate people to live a healthy lifestyle. For example, President also films an advertisement to urge people to eat more vegetable. Therefore, government still educate people with limited budget. Secondly, effort is meaningless unless people are conscious of its importance. For example, my friend is a very lazy man, he does not like to work out even he has time. He tells me that he does not think it can affect his health. No matter how big the incentive his mother create, He simply does not believe it is important, and do not want to change his life style. That is to say, it is impossible that education of importance of healthy life style will be effective, because people do not be aware of its importance. Last but not least, life style is hard to change, and education is hard to make people change their life style. Take my friend, Joseph, as an example. Joseph lived an unhealthy life style. He slept at 3am and waked up at 1pm with a daily basis. Joseph told me that he knows it is not a good life style, but he just could not change it. Joseph said it is like a curse and he can not get out of it. That is to say, even the government has a huge education to teach people to live a good life style, life style still hard to change. In conclusion, I disagree with this statement, because I believe that the government has limited budget and the effort is meaningless unless people are conscious of the importance. Additionally, life style is hard to change by education.
Usually
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
possess
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
opinions on whether the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
style
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
has done
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, others have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
opinion. From my personal observation, I disagree with this statement.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is limited
by budget, and there is not much it can do to urge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
a balanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
style
. To elaborate, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
aspects to take care of, and every aspect needs to spend money.
Accordingly
, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
importance
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
style
, there is not much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effort
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can do.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
still
made
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effort
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
lifestyle.
For example
, President
also
films an advertisement to urge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to eat more vegetable.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
still
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with limited budget.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effort
is meaningless unless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are conscious of its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
importance
.
For example
, my friend is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
lazy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
, he does not like to work out even he has time. He
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tells
me that he does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it can affect his health. No matter how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
the incentive his mother create, He
simply
does not believe it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
, and do not want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
style
.
That is
to say, it is impossible that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
importance
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
style
will be effective,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not be aware of its importance.

Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
style
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
their
Did you mean "lives"?
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
style
. Take my friend, Joseph, as an example. Joseph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
an unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
style
. He slept at 3am and waked up at 1pm with a daily basis. Joseph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
me that he knows it is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
style
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
he
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
could not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
it. Joseph said it is like a
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
curse and
he can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
out of it.
That is
to say, even the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
has a huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
to teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
style
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
style
still
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
.

In conclusion
, I disagree with this statement,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
has limited budget and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effort
is meaningless unless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are conscious of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
importance
.
Additionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
style
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
17Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
79Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay The government is not educating people enough about the importance of living a balanced and healthy life style. v. 847

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
386 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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