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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Teachers should be paid according to how much their students learn. Give specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. v.811

Teachers should be paid according to how much their students learn. Give specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. v. 811
Education level of country is very important for it development. There are a lot of factors which have influence on that rate. One of them and not the last in the list is motivation for teachers. I guess, the best motivation is honest salary, but on what it should be depended? I will try to explain my thoughts about it, using my own life experience. In Ukraine teachers have low level of salary. Amount of it depends on their work experience, education level and working hours. What will be in the result of their tuition doesn’t matter and don’t have influence on teachers earnings. That’s why some of them aren’t interested in quality of their work and don’t want to exert oneself. Only student’s, which are highly self-motivated, are able to have good marks in such occasions. My university isn’t an exception of the rule and just approximately twenty percent of teachers are working on one hundred percent. I think this approach isn’t right at the root. In my opinion, if your salary is directly connected with result of your work, you do your best. And it goes without saying, that deep knowledge of students in subject is the best mark for teacher efforts. Therefore, it will be honest to test students before and after the course, and if marks are almost unchanged teacher earn minimal level of salary and if it is repeated several times the question of the dismissal should be raised. And vice versa if scores grows greatly, teacher receive bonuses. I agree with the given statement. And I think education system in my country can be improved by using of such approach.
Education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
of country is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
It seems that the possessive pronoun "its" fits better in this context. Please verify.
it
development. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
factors which have influence on that rate. One of them and not the last in the list is motivation for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
. I guess, the best motivation is honest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
on what it should
be depended
? I will try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
my thoughts about it, using my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
life experience.

In Ukraine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
have low
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
. Amount of it depends on their work experience, education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
and working hours. What will be in the result of their tuition doesn’t matter and don’t have influence on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
earnings. That’s why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them aren’t interested in quality of their work and don’t want to exert oneself.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
student’s, which are
highly
self-motivated, are able to have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
marks in such occasions. My university isn’t an
Did you mean "exception to"?
exception of
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
approximately twenty percent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
are working on one hundred percent. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this approach isn’t right at the root.

In my opinion, if your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
is
directly
connected with result of your work, you do your best. And it goes without saying, that deep knowledge of students in subject is the best mark for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
efforts.
Therefore
, it will be honest to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
and after the course, and if marks are almost unchanged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
earn minimal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
and if it
is repeated
several times the question of the dismissal should
be raised
. And vice versa if scores grows
greatly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
receive bonuses.

I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement. And I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
education system in my country can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
by using of such approach.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Teachers should be paid according to how much their students learn. Give specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. v. 811

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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