Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People would be happier withfewer possessions. v.782

People would be happier withfewer possessions. v. 782
In today' s convoluted and competitive world, it becomes a highly charged and hot debatable topic whether people would be happier by having more possessions or not. Therefore, some people are the leading proponent of the claim that more possessions will bring them more difficulties resulting in sadness. However, others may take an opposite point of view and believe that being happy is in direct proportion to have more possessions. If I have to face these two choices, I tend to choose the latter idea. There are some significant reasons, the most outstanding of which will be discussed in the ensuing paragraphs. To begin with, people are able to experience a convenient and better life with having more things belonging to them. To elaborate on, nowadays, due to our hectic and complex life, people have plenty of problems notably monetary issues. Hence, their possessions enable them to have a comfortable life because they can sell some part of their belongings when they face problems. In contrast, people who do not have these possessions have to have an arduous life which their happiness will be deprived. Let me give you an example might make this viewpoint much more evident. When I was a master student, I have decided to pursue my study at a university abroad, then, owing to lack of money, I could not apply. Then, when my father understood my situation, he told me that I sell one of my farmland and support you, hence, it made me happy. For this reason, had we not had any possessions, I would not have pursued my study. Apart from having convenient life, the second debatable point is that on the one hand, some people believe that by having more possessions, people will have a lot of problems to maintain them, which bring them stress and tension. On the other hand, some others believe that, by having more belongings, they are allowed to become more confident, and eventually their self-satisfaction will be increased. I take the former viewpoint with a pinch of salt and claim that the latter viewpoint is much closer to the reality. To elucidate on, people having more possessions can donate some of them to charity and people needing them, and therefore, their self-confidence will be boosted. In addition, the fame earned by this decision enable them to be happier. As a result, by having more possessions, they are permitted to have positive contribution to their society especially poor people, which owing to being satisfied, they will be happy. To wrap it up, by considering all aforementioned reasons, one soon realizes the positive importance of more possessions inasmuch as in the first place, they have a better life by having more of them, as in the second place, their possessions allows them to help others which bring them more confidence.
In
Possible spelling mistake found.
today&
#039; s convoluted and competitive world, it becomes a
highly
charged and hot debatable topic whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would be happier by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
possessions
or not.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are the leading proponent of the claim that more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
possessions
will bring them more difficulties resulting in sadness.
However
, others may take an opposite point of view and believe that being happy is in direct proportion to have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
possessions
. If I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face these two choices, I tend to choose the latter
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
significant reasons, the most outstanding of which will
be discussed
in the ensuing paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are able to experience a convenient and better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
more things belonging to them. To elaborate on, nowadays, due to our hectic and complex
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of problems
notably
monetary issues.
Hence
, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
possessions
enable them to have a comfortable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can sell
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
part of their belongings when they face problems.
In contrast
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who do not have these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
possessions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
have an arduous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
which their happiness will
be deprived
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
me give you an example might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
this viewpoint much more evident. When I was a master student, I have decided to pursue my study at a university abroad, then, owing to lack of money, I could not apply. Then, when my father understood my situation, he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
me that I sell one of my farmland and support you,
hence
, it made me happy.
For this reason
, had we not had any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
possessions
, I would not have pursued my study.

Apart from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
convenient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, the second debatable point is that on the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
possessions
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
problems to maintain them, which bring them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and tension. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
others believe that, by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
more belongings, they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to become more confident, and
eventually
their self-satisfaction will
be increased
. I take the former viewpoint with a pinch of salt and claim that the latter viewpoint is much closer to the reality. To elucidate on,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
possessions
can donate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them to charity and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
needing them, and
therefore
, their self-confidence will
be boosted
.
In addition
, the fame earned by this decision enable them to be happier.
As a result
, by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
possessions
, they
are permitted
to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
contribution to their society
especially
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, which owing to
being satisfied
, they will be happy.

To wrap it up, by considering all aforementioned reasons, one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
realizes the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
importance of more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
possessions
inasmuch as in the
first
place, they have a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
more of them, as in the second place, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
possessions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
others which bring them more confidence.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
36Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay People would be happier withfewer possessions. v. 782

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
471 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts