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The personal and work-related challenges that young people face today are not very different from the challenges their parents and grandparents faced in the past v.2

The personal and work-related challenges that young people face today are not very different from the challenges their parents and grandparents faced in the past v. 2
Challenges and problems in people life have been an appealing topic. Numerous people over the world state that today, young people face personal and work-related challenges that different from what their parents and grandparents faced. Personally, I am convinced with this statement due to the following reasons. On one hand, country development draws much of my attention. It cannot be denied that people are easy to access to technology. Hence, differents applications, procedure and equipments are made for particular purposes in today life. As a result, these new technological things create more sittuations, problems and challenges for young generation, which encourages young people to learn how to utilize these things. As a result, young people are able to come up with different solutions to different problems. More interestingly, one of the most considerable issue today is employment. Nowadays, in order to maximize the profit of companies, they have a tendency to change the process of making things by automatical robots. These robots require less people to control them but they require people who have extremely good skills to run their system. Therefore, the trend of using automatical producing systems decreases the labor forces and creates a competitive environment. As a consequent, young people need to develop themselves in different ways to avoid being unemployed. With no doubt, country development creates a lot of problems that did not occur in the past for young people. On the other hand, it is claim that problems and challenges today are same to them in the past and they are certain to be unchanged forever because any problems in any periods always base on foundation which appear long time ago. Consequently, these problems and challenges have the same roots, hence, young people are capable to solve their problems and challenges by using same methods to solve these problems in the past. However, it is unnecessarily the case. In fact, human perceptions are changing to match the societies and global situations. Thus, people are sure to have more things and work to focus on. As a consequent, people today have standard behaviors different with their parents' standard behaviors. This difference forces young people today to face with diverse problems and challenges that their parents and grandparents did not face. By and large, changing perceptions is resemble changing the problems and challenges which young people in that period face. All in all, the country development and the changing of perceptions are the convincing reasons for my agreement. It is highly recommended that people should carefully consider my writing to make the right decision on challenges and problems in people daily life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Challenges
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
life have been an appealing topic. Numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
over the world state that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
today
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
face personal and work-related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
challenges
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
from what their parents and grandparents faced.
Personally
, I
am convinced
with this statement due to the following reasons.

On one hand, country development draws much of my attention. It cannot
be denied
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are easy to access to technology.
Hence
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
differents
applications, procedure and equipments
are made
for particular purposes in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
today
life.
As a result
, these new technological things create more
Possible spelling mistake found.
sittuations
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
challenges
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation, which encourages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to learn how to utilize these things.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
solutions to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. More
interestingly
, one of the most considerable issue
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
today
is employment. Nowadays, in order to maximize the profit of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
, they have a tendency to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the process of making things by
Possible spelling mistake found.
automatical
robots. These robots require
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun people is countable.
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to control them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they require
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have
extremely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to run their system.
Therefore
, the trend of using
Possible spelling mistake found.
automatical
producing systems decreases the labor forces and creates a competitive environment. As a consequent,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need to develop themselves in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
ways to avoid
being unemployed
. With no doubt, country development creates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
that did not occur in the past for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

On the other hand
, it is claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
challenges
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
today
are same to them in the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
past and
they are certain to
be unchanged
forever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
in any periods always base on foundation which appear long time ago.
Consequently
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
challenges
have the same roots,
hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are capable to solve their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
challenges
by using same methods to solve these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
in the past.
However
, it is
unnecessarily
the case. In fact, human perceptions are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changing
to match the societies and global situations.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are sure to have more things and work to focus on. As a consequent,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
today
have standard behaviors
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
with their
Possible spelling mistake found.
parents&
#039; standard behaviors. This difference forces
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
today
to face with diverse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
challenges
that their parents and grandparents did not face. By and large,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changing
perceptions is
Consider using a past participle here: "resembled".
resemble
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changing
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
challenges
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in that period face.

All in all, the country development and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changing
of perceptions are the convincing reasons for my agreement. It is
highly
recommended that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
carefully
consider my writing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the right decision on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
challenges
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
daily life.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
61Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay The personal and work-related challenges that young people face today are not very different from the challenges their parents and grandparents faced in the past v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
435 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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