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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement The invention of the Internet has had negative effects on your civilization Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion v.2

The invention of the Internet has had negative effects on your civilization Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion v. 2
The most important advancement in the field of technology was internet. Now a days, internet can be called abyss because of its vast nature. Many people believe that, internet has had negative effects on the civilization. But, in my opinion it has been the most helpful thing that was ever developed. Anything that you need is available on the internet. Hence, I believe, internet has uncountable benefits and has had very less negative effects. To begin with, as the world is growing and the technology is advancing at a very fast rate, it is important to be up to date with the technology. Various certified courses are available online which can help you learn any technology sitting at home. For instance, during my summer break I had joined an Android development course online. In this course I learnt how to develop android applications. Learning of this technology helped me a lot in getting internships during my graduate school. Furthermore, electronic transactions or e-money allows one to pay their bills online over the internet. For example, my father always pays the electricity bills online and the funds gets transferred directly to the merchant account. This process is safe and secure and all the most very convenient. Another important benefit is that, internet allows you to book airline tickets online. Now, a person does not have to go to the airport anymore for booking tickets. The ticket can be booked online and the person gets the confirmation on his/her email. In conclusion, it is true that internet has had some negative effects like hacking, piracy or illegal pornography. But, the advantages of the same are so many, that they overshadow all the downsides and thus has an overall positive effect on the civilization. And therefore, no matter what the society believes, I personally will always be in favour of using the internet because it has done more good than harm.
The most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
advancement in the field of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
was internet.
Did you mean "nowadays"?
Now a days
, internet can
be called
abyss
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its vast nature.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that, internet has had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on the civilization.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, in my opinion it has been the most helpful thing that was ever developed. Anything that you need is available on the internet.
Hence
, I believe, internet has uncountable benefits and has had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
less
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, as the world is growing and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is advancing at a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
rate, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to be up to date with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. Various certified courses are available
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you learn any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
sitting at home.
For instance
, during my summer break I had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
an Android development course
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
. In this course I
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
how to develop android applications. Learning of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
me a lot in getting internships during my graduate school.

Furthermore
, electronic transactions or e-money
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
one to pay their bills
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
over the internet.
For example
, my father always pays the electricity bills
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
and the funds
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
transferred
directly
to the merchant account. This process is safe and secure and all the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
convenient. Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
benefit is that, internet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
you to book airline tickets
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, a person does not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
go to the airport anymore for booking tickets. The ticket can
be booked
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
and the person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
the confirmation on his/her email.

In conclusion
, it is true that internet has had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects like hacking, piracy or illegal pornography.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, the advantages of the same are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
, that they overshadow all the downsides and
thus
has an
overall
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect on the civilization. And
therefore
, no matter what the society believes, I
personally
will always be in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of using the internet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it has done more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
than harm.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay The invention of the Internet has had negative effects on your civilization Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
318 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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