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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The invention of the Internet has had negative effects on your civilization. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. v.261

The invention of the Internet has had negative effects on your civilization. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. v. 261
Technology has helped humankind immensely in different aspects of life, taking care of the smallest and biggest detail there is. However, its negative effect on the environment can be a hindering factor for its progress. Thus, a controversy arises; whether to leave technology or use it to protect the environment? In my opinion, technology can be used in order to offer solutions to improve the environmental aspect. Some people suggest to lead a simple lifestyle which would result in the reduction in technology usage and therefore the protection of the environment. Although this could be a reasonable solution, I believe it could lead to negative results. For example, if we stopped using computers totally, we will not be able to accomplish most of the simple tasks needed for a normal life nowadays. Moreover, most of the utilities used to lead a technology-free lifestyle are actually not environmentally friendly. For instance, the detergent used to hand wash clothes or the excessive use of plastic bags which affects the marine life tremendously. On the other hand, exploiting technology to find a solution for the environment is a promising idea. Distinct technological solutions can be offered for many environmental problems such as carbon dioxide emission from cars. It can provide another green alternative that could allow a better fuel combustion causing less harmful gas emission. Consequently, utilizing technology can be used in every other aspect to make the environment better. In conclusion, two opposite point of views were shown. The first is with leading a technology-free lifestyle while the second supports using technology itself to have a better planet. In my own point of view, I second the latter opinion and I do believe that technology can be of a great help to have a better environment.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
humankind
immensely
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
aspects of life, taking care of the smallest and biggest detail there is.
However
, its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
can be a hindering factor for its progress.
Thus
, a controversy arises; whether to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it to protect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
? In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in order to offer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solutions
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the environmental aspect.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
The verb 'suggest' is used with the gerund form: "suggest leading".
suggest to lead
a simple lifestyle which would result in the reduction in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
usage and
therefore
the protection of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
. Although this could be a reasonable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
, I believe it could lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
results.
For example
, if we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
using computers
totally
, we will not be able to accomplish most of the simple tasks needed for a normal life nowadays.
Moreover
, most of the utilities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to lead a technology-free lifestyle are actually not
environmentally
friendly.
For instance
, the detergent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to hand wash clothes or the excessive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of plastic bags which affects the marine life
tremendously
.

On the other hand
, exploiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
to find a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
is a promising
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
. Distinct technological
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solutions
can
be offered
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
environmental problems such as carbon dioxide emission from cars. It can provide another green alternative that could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
a better fuel combustion causing less harmful gas emission.
Consequently
, utilizing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in every other aspect to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
better.

In conclusion
, two opposite point of views
were shown
. The
first
is with leading a technology-free lifestyle while the second supports using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
itself to have a better planet. In my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
point of view, I second the latter opinion and I do believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
can be of a great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to have a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The invention of the Internet has had negative effects on your civilization. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. v. 261

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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