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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents should allow children to make their own choices rather than determine their future for them. v.710

Parents should allow children to make their own choices rather than determine their future for them. v. 710
As some parents are willing to organize each steps of their children' s future and make decisions instead of them; however, others take an opposite manner and prefer to set them free about their choices. I personally agree with the second manner. In the following paragraph, I will delve into the most outstanding reasons which persuade me to put forward this perspective. The first exquisite reason which advocates my idea is the experience of self-governing tried in this pattern. An individually choosing the option leads the person becomes self-independent because the sole source of this choice and its consequence is the person who made it. Hence, he will put his whole desires, knowledge, and experiences; besides, there is no any partner. This condition shed the spotlight on the self-importance, and makes the person to feel as an important element with the enough ability to handle the difficulties and make the decision. It will have a great influence in the children' s psychological enhancement for their future life. A vivid example can be given to shed light on the subject is my own example, in my childhood I was allowed to make my choices with myself and it helped me to feel like a mature; moreover, I mostly avoided to behave like kids in my age and tried to do my stuffs with myself. As a result, the making a decision with myself made me more mature and independent with more self-confidence. The second reason which confirms the accuracy of my belief is the sense of responsibility. As a person makes his own decision, he will be responsible for that option and its result. As it mentioned above, he will do that decision without the partner. Thus, whenever he faces a failure he will be accountable for that situation and it helps him to become sensible. The noteworthy intelligible researching in my country illustrates the impacts of the making decision solely by children from their childhood in their future life. It supports this point by the data that more than sixty nine percent of these kids are more responsible in the household stuffs and their educational life, and this track will have an undeniable influence in their future life too. To wrap it up, all aforementioned reasons and examples lead to the conclusion that the children who make their choices based upon their own desires are more self-independent and responsible. These features will be more helpful in their future life.
As
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parents are willing to organize each steps of their
Possible spelling mistake found.
children&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
instead
of them;
however
, others take an opposite manner and prefer to set them free about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
. I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the second manner. In the following paragraph, I will delve into the most outstanding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
which persuade me to put forward this perspective.

The
first
exquisite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
which advocates my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
is the experience of self-governing tried in this pattern. An
individually
choosing the option leads the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
becomes self-independent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the sole source of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choice
and its consequence is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
who made it.
Hence
, he will put his whole desires, knowledge, and experiences;
besides
, there is
Did you mean "now" (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
no
any partner. This condition shed the spotlight on the self-importance, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
to feel as an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
element with the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
ability to handle the difficulties and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
. It will have a great influence in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
children&
#039; s psychological enhancement for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. A vivid example can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to shed light on the subject is my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
example, in my childhood I was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
with myself and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
me to feel like a mature;
moreover
, I
mostly
The verb 'avoided' is used with the gerund form: "avoided behaving".
avoided to behave
like kids in my age and tried to do my stuffs with myself.
As a result
, the making a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
with myself made me more mature and independent with more self-confidence.

The second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
which confirms the accuracy of my belief is the sense of responsibility. As a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
, he will be responsible for that option and its result. As it mentioned above, he will do that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
without the partner.
Thus
, whenever he faces a failure he will be accountable for that situation and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
him to become sensible. The noteworthy intelligible researching in my country illustrates the impacts of the making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
solely
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from their childhood in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. It supports this point by the data that more than
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
sixty nine
percent of these kids are more responsible in the household stuffs and their educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, and this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
will have an undeniable influence in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
too.

To wrap it up, all aforementioned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
and examples lead to the conclusion that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
based upon their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
desires are more self-independent and responsible. These features will be more helpful in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
38Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Parents should allow children to make their own choices rather than determine their future for them. v. 710

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
409 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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