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710 describe a place you have recently visitedyou should say where you wentwho you went withhow you got thereand explain why you enjoyed it v.1

710 describe a place you have recently visitedyou should say where you wentwho you went withhow you got thereand explain why you enjoyed it v. 1
A reasonable number of people are paid extremely high in many countries. While some people argue that it is beneficial for the overall development of the nation, others are of the opinion that the government should cap salaries / put a cap on the remuneration. I do not agree with this view. In my view, if salaries are high, the country will progress faster. On the one hand, people believe that enormous salaries immensely benefit the nation and I agree. If people earn more, they can contribute more to the government through their taxes. This tax amount can be used for the welfare of the citizens through schemes such as free education and better infrastructure that can increase the standards of living. Another reason for supporting astronomical pay cheques is that it deters talented people from leaving their country. Let us consider India as an example. Earlier, the average salary of an Indian was sufficient only to take care of his own needs. However, in the last two decades, the situation has improved tremendously after the boom in the IT sector. India is generating significant revenue through taxes which is being spent on medical and engineering researches. On the other hand, some people insist that government authorities must impose an upper limit on earnings. They believe that high salaries of a few people can cause societal imbalance. In other words, it will result in a massive discrimination in the society because the affluent people tend to exercise control over the lower class. Consequently, the nation becomes a breeding ground for illegal activities and terrorism. This will not only destruct the reputation of the nation but also impede foreign investments and other trades. Hence, people think that if there is an upper limit on an individual’s income, equality will prevail in the community and citizens can live in harmony. In conclusion, despite contrasting views, I believe that for the development of a nation, higher salaries are imperative. This will induce better revenues in addition to deterring the skilled people from leaving their country.
A reasonable number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are paid
extremely
high in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that it is beneficial for the
overall
development of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
, others are of the opinion that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should cap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
/ put a cap on the remuneration. I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view. In my view, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
are high, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
will progress faster.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that enormous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
immensely
benefit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
earn more, they can contribute more to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
through their taxes. This tax amount can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for the welfare of the citizens through schemes such as free education and better infrastructure that can increase the standards of living. Another reason for supporting astronomical pay
Possible spelling mistake. 'cheques' is British English.
cheques
is that it deters talented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from leaving their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
us consider India as an example. Earlier, the average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
of an Indian was sufficient
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to take care of his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
needs.
However
, in the last two decades, the situation has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
tremendously
after the boom in the IT sector. India is generating significant revenue through taxes which is
being spent
on medical and engineering researches.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
insist that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
authorities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
impose an upper limit on earnings. They believe that high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
of a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can cause societal imbalance. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, it will result in a massive discrimination in the society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the affluent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to exercise control over the lower
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.
Consequently
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
becomes a breeding ground for illegal activities and terrorism. This will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
destruct the reputation of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
impede foreign investments and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
trades.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that if there is an upper limit on an individual’s income, equality will prevail in the community and citizens can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in harmony.

In conclusion
, despite contrasting views, I believe that for the development of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
, higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
are imperative. This will induce better revenues
in addition
to deterring the skilled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from leaving their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
A foreign language is like a frail, delicate muscle. If you do not use it, it weakens.
Jhumpa Lahiri

IELTS essay 710 describe a place you have recently visitedyou should say where you wentwho you went withhow you got thereand explain why you enjoyed it v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
342 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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