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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Governments shouldfocus their budgets more on environmental protection than on economicdevelopment. v.704

Governments shouldfocus their budgets more on environmental protection than on economicdevelopment. v. 704
Throughout history, human beings' lives have changed enormously since they inherently have a tendency to improve their lives. Living quality would be an essential factor having remarkable effects on people' s lives. While some people believe that government should invest a great deal of money in environmental protection, others hold exactly opposite perspective. In no way can I agree with latter point. There are some reasons, the most outstanding of which will be discussed in the ensuing paragraphs. To begin with, it is undoubted that so destructive has global warming been that it has had a great negative effects on people' s lives, yet above all, it has brought a large amount of harmful effects for people living in our era. To illustrate this fact, one needs only refer to numerous had mental and physical diseases deriving from air pollution. Additionally, global warming phenomena has long term effects on people' s lives. Although economic development is important, investing money in protecting environment is more crucial because people needs to be health and then think about economic situation, By way of illustration, the noteworthy intelligible results, which conducted in our country, show that a large number of people are becoming ill due to having pollution environment and their economic situation are becoming difficult. The second debatable point is that one the one hand, some people believe that if people should improve the economic which people have better lives, yet some people are convinced that when better condition lives can be provided that people have clean environment. In fact, people are able to release their stress and tension when they spend their time in suitable environments such as clean beach. Hence, I strongly agree with the latter point, for I believe that the more people can release their stress, the more their lives will be health and they can enjoy their lives. Take a personal experience as an example there was a time that I had a hard disease, doctor said me you should go out of bustling city to the countryside, and thereby, there, I can recover myself easily due to the presences of clean landscape and river. Not until this incident occurred did I realize the importance of clean environment. For this reason, had I not gone to the countryside, I would not have treated my ill easily. To make a long story short, by considering all the aforementioned reasons and many others, no one can deny the enormous effects of having clean environment on people’s lifestyle. Not only does it bring them healthy lifestyle, but also they are able to make a clean environment for people living in the future. Thus, were I be a determiner in our country, I would have focused on environment protection, because I strongly believe that it is an obligatory task for government to provide better environment before everything.
Throughout history, human
Possible spelling mistake found.
beings&
#039;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
enormously
since they
inherently
have a tendency to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
. Living quality would be an essential factor having remarkable effects on
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should invest a great deal of money in environmental protection, others hold exactly opposite perspective. In no way can I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with latter point. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons, the most outstanding of which will
be discussed
in the ensuing paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it
is undoubted
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
destructive has global warming been that it has had a great
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
,
yet
above all
, it has brought a large amount of harmful effects for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in our era. To illustrate this fact, one needs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
refer to numerous had mental and physical diseases deriving from air pollution.
Additionally
, global warming phenomena has long term effects on
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
. Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
development is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
, investing money in protecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
is more crucial
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
needs
to be health and
Did you mean "than"?
then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
situation, By way of illustration, the noteworthy intelligible results, which conducted in our country,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are becoming ill due to having pollution
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
situation are becoming difficult.

The second debatable point is that
Did you mean "on"?
one
the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
,
yet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are convinced
that when better condition
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
can
be provided
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clean
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
. In fact,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are able to release their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and tension when they spend their time in suitable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environments
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clean
beach.
Hence
, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the latter point, for I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that the more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can release their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
, the more their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
will be
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
health and
they can enjoy their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
. Take a personal experience as an example there was a time that I had a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
disease, doctor
'Say' cannot be followed by a direct personal object. Did you mean "told"?
said
me you should go out of bustling city to the countryside, and thereby, there, I can recover myself
easily
due to the presences of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clean
landscape and river. Not until this incident occurred did I realize the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clean
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
.
For this reason
, had I not gone to the countryside, I would not have treated my ill
easily
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a long story short, by considering all the aforementioned reasons and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
others, no one can deny the enormous effects of having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clean
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
lifestyle. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
does it bring them healthy lifestyle,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
they are able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clean
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in the future.
Thus
,
Did you mean "where" or "we"?
were
I be a determiner in our country, I would have focused on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
protection,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I
strongly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that it is an obligatory task for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to provide better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
everything.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
48Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Governments shouldfocus their budgets more on environmental protection than on economicdevelopment. v. 704

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
475 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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