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Some people think that giving beggars money on the street is wrong, while others think it's right. Which idea do you support? Be sure to use specific details and examples to support your opinion. v.2

Some people think that giving beggars money on the street is wrong, while others think it's right. Which idea do you support? Be sure to use specific details and examples to support your opinion. v. 2
We all feel pity when we see beggars requesting spare change on the streets. In my opinion, however, it is incorrect to give in to these feelings and supply these people with money. Ultimately, the cash could be better used for other purposes. In the first place, the money given to beggars can be better spent on other charities. For example, five dollars may purchase a slice of pizza in a developed country. In the developing world, however, that same five dollars could purchase life-saving products, such as nets to ward off malaria, or nutrients to aid starving children. Rather than giving money to local beggars, it would be more just to save spare change during the year, eventually donating all of it to the developing world. That is where it can do the maximum amount of good. It is random that some people are close neighbors and others live far away. We owe moral obligations to people everywhere, however, because we are all human beings. For this reason, it is wrong to prefer helping local beggars rather than distant, starving strangers. We should always spend our money where it does the most good to the most people. At the same time, giving money to beggars can encourage bad practices. It is uncertain how the money might be used. For example, it might be used to purchase drugs or alcohol. These substances will not help the beggar to improve his or her position in life. Moreover, by giving beggars money, you are perhaps not really helping them in the long run. There is an old saying that you can feed a man for one day by giving him a fish, but you can feed him for a lifetime by teaching him to fish. The reason this is relevant is that it is better to encourage beggars to seek jobs rather than supporting their state of unemployment. Of course, some beggars are unable to find work and need help in the short term. But it is impossible to tell the difference between people who sincerely need the money and those who will misuse it, or are uninterested in finding work. For this reason, it is better to allow social services and unemployment agencies to help the needy, and to spend excess money on charities in the developing world.
We all feel pity when we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beggars
requesting spare
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
on the streets. In my opinion,
however
, it is incorrect to give in to these feelings and supply these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
Ultimately
, the cash could be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for other purposes.

In the
first
place, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beggars
can be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
spent on other charities.
For example
, five dollars may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
a slice of pizza in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed country
. In the developing world,
however
, that same five dollars could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
life-saving products, such as nets to ward off malaria, or nutrients to aid starving children.
Rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beggars
, it would be more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to save spare
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
during the year,
eventually
donating all of it to the developing world.
That is
where it can do the maximum amount of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
. It is random that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are close neighbors
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
far away. We owe moral obligations to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
everywhere,
however
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we are all human beings.
For this reason
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
to prefer helping local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beggars
rather
than distant, starving strangers. We should always spend our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
where it does the most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to the most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

At the same time,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beggars
can encourage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
practices. It is uncertain how the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
might be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
.
For example
, it might be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
drugs or alcohol. These substances will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beggar
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
position in life.
Moreover
, by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beggars
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, you are perhaps not
really
helping them in the long run. There is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
saying that you can feed a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
for one day by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
giving
him a fish,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
you can feed him for a lifetime by teaching him to fish. The reason this is relevant is that it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
to encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beggars
to seek jobs
rather
than supporting their state of unemployment.

Of course
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beggars
are unable to find work and need
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in the short term.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
it is impossible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
the difference between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
sincerely
need the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and those who will misuse it, or
are uninterested
in finding work.
For this reason
, it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
social services and unemployment agencies to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the needy, and to spend excess
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on charities in the developing world.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that giving beggars money on the street is wrong, while others think it's right. Which idea do you support? Be sure to use specific details and examples to support your opinion. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
387 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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