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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Public speaking should be a required course for all students in a university. v.631

Public speaking should be a required course for all students in a university. v. 631
Nowadays, public speaking has been playing a significant role in our daily life. Although there are widely acknowledged belief that public speaking should be a required course for all students in a university, some people thinks that students in a university should not study how to do public speaking. In my opinion, I prefer the first idea. In the first place, no one can deny public speaking is important for us. In other words, public speaking could give us a lot of chances to go to succeed. Take my sister, Alice, as an example. When she went to college, she got the top of the students, so she wanted to be a leader of the student union. But there were a lot of students wanted to be. So she given a public speaking and told the students and the teachers if she became the leader of the students union, she would bring a lot of benefit to this school. In the end, she succeeded. We can see that, it is because of public speaking that Alice becomes a leader of the student union. If she had not given the public speaking, she could not have became a leader of the student union. In the second place, a good public speaking could help us make friends. In other words, if you speaking in the public and express your idea, some people will talk with you and in this way you will have a lot of friends. Tom is a good example. Tom was good at the mathematics and he had a lot of easy way to answer some difficult question. One day his professor wanted that he would give a public speech about how to study the mathematics. So he told some idea about the way to study mathematics. In the end, a lot of students ask some question when they encounter some problem, in this way, they became a good friends. As we can see that it is a lot of friends that the public speaking brings. Although there are some persons thought that public speaking should not be a required course for all students in a university because students have lots of pressures from their school or parents, I have to say that public speaking is important to students because it could bring a lot of chances and friends.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
speaking has been playing a significant role in our daily life. Although there are
widely
acknowledged belief that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
speaking should be a required course for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in a university,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
thinks
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in a university should not study how to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
speaking. In my opinion, I prefer the
first
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.

In the
first
place, no one can deny
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
speaking is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for us.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
other words,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
speaking could give us a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of chances to go to succeed. Take my sister, Alice, as an example. When she went to college, she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
the top of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
she wanted to be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leader
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
union.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
there were a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
wanted to be.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
she
Possible grammatical error. You used a past participle without using any required verb ('be' or 'have'). Did you mean "gave"?
given
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
speaking and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and the teachers if she became the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leader
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
union, she would bring a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of benefit to this school. In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, she succeeded. We can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
speaking that Alice becomes a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leader
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
union. If she had not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
speaking, she could not have
Use past participle here: "become".
became
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leader
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
union.

In the second place, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
speaking could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
.
In other words
, if
Did you mean "you're speaking", "you are speaking", or "you were speaking"?
you speaking
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
and express your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will talk with you and in this way you will have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
. Tom is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
example. Tom was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
at the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
mathematics and
he had a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of easy way to answer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
difficult question. One day his professor
Did you mean "wanted him to"?
wanted that he
would give a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
speech about how to study the mathematics.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
about the way to study mathematics. In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
ask
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
question when they encounter
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problem, in this way, they became a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that it is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
speaking brings.

Although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
persons
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
speaking should not be a required course for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in a university
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lots
of pressures from their school or parents, I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
speaking is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it could bring a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of chances and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
49Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Learn a language, and you’ll avoid a war.
Arab Proverb

IELTS essay Public speaking should be a required course for all students in a university. v. 631

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
390 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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