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task 3 Starting Monday, October 5, the school is implementing a 30-minute mandatory computer course. All students, except students in the computer programs, are required to take this course if they want to graduate. On Monday September 29, there is a mand v.1

task 3 Starting Monday, October 5, the school is implementing a 30-minute mandatory computer course. All students, except students in the computer programs, are required to take this course if they want to graduate. On Monday September 29, there is a mand v. 1
According to some researchers the future of the world is under threat because of environment, population and education. Unfortunately, our country will also have to encounter these problems in the next decade if proper measures are not taken in time. This essay will discuss how these problems might affect our country and the possible solutions to deal with them. To begin with, the most threatening problems that could arise in coming years are the issue of environment and growing population of the country. Pollution is increasing rapidly in Pakistan mainly because of increasing traffic. For instance, a report released by the Pakistan Environment Department showed that traffic is causing about 70 percent of the pollution in the country. On the other hand, the rise in population will also cause problems for the country in the future as it increases expenses and demands. As a proof, a census in 2017 showed an unprecedented rise of 110 percent in population as compared to the last census due to which the government is facing a lot of administrative problems. Therefore, these two are the main challenges that this country has to face in the next decade. However, there are solutions to solve these problems such as creating awareness and making strict laws. Firstly, the government should teach their public about the consequences of pollution on the environment. For example, they must educate them that it can cause global warming, which is a global threat to the environment. Secondly, the administration has to make laws on the number of children parents can have in the future. If we take the example of China, we can see that they have reduced the population growth from 150 percent to 45 percent by implementing such laws. Hence, by taking these initiatives the authorities can solve these problems. In brief, there is no doubt that there are a lot of challenges in this world to face in the coming decades and we have to show our commitment to overcome these problems by obeying the laws that are made in this regard and by reducing pollution.
According to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
researchers the future of the world is under threat
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
and education. Unfortunately, our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
will
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
encounter these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
in the
next
decade if proper measures are not taken in time. This essay will discuss how these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
might affect our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and the possible solutions to deal with them.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the most threatening
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
that could arise in coming years are the issue of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
and growing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Pollution
is increasing
rapidly
in Pakistan
mainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of increasing traffic.
For instance
, a report released by the Pakistan
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Environment
Department
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that traffic is causing about 70
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
On the other hand
, the rise in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
will
also
cause
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
in the future as it increases expenses and demands. As a proof, a census in 2017
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
an unprecedented rise of 110
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
as compared to the last census due to which the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
is facing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
administrative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
Therefore
, these two are the main challenges that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
face in the
next
decade.

However
, there are solutions to solve these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
such as creating awareness and making strict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
.
Firstly
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should teach their public about the consequences of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
.
For example
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
educate them that it can cause global warming, which is a global threat to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
.
Secondly
, the administration
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
on the number of children parents can have in the future. If we take the example of China, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that they have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
growth from 150
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
to 45
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
by implementing such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
.
Hence
, by taking these initiatives the authorities can solve these problems.

In brief
, there is no doubt that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
challenges in this world to face in the coming
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
decades and
we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
our commitment to overcome these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
by obeying the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
that
are made
in this regard and by reducing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay task 3 Starting Monday, October 5, the school is implementing a 30-minute mandatory computer course. All students, except students in the computer programs, are required to take this course if they want to graduate. On Monday September 29, there is a mand v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
347 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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