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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People should not have to pay for public transportation that they use. v.602

People should not have to pay for public transportation that they use. v. 602
At present, it is extensively acknowledged that in the process of social development, the city transportation system have been ameliorated greatly and it has provided a lot of convenience for citizens. Within this context, a disputable statement, which people often talked over, has emerged that public transportation they have used should be free for citizens. On the one hand, some people support this statement since they think the public construction should be free including transportation. However, other people are on the contrary side because they think everyone has their responsibility. As far as I concerned, I totally disagree with this statement that people do not pay for public transportation. At first, if people don' t need to pay for public transportation, risks of transporting would increase and would be harder to respond. When there is no restriction on tickets, it is self-evident that more people will use public transportation, which leads to more potential security risks. For example, one day there is a lot of people in the subway station, the waiting area is really crowded. Unfortunately, my phone was stolen by a thief in the crowd. It took me a lot of time to call the police and find back my phone because so many people that it declines the efficiency and ability to respond to passengers' emergency. In this way, the potential risks have increased and become more difficult to respond. In addition, take the subway as an example. If it is free, the cost of repairing and testing would be covered by the government, which also used the tax from the citizens. It may lead the city government to increase the tax on everybody. For instance, one study from UCLA which modeled the consequence after the free policy shows that average tax will increase by 3 to 5 percentage to every citizen. That means this situation which people have access to public transportation freely is more expensive than the normal situation that people have to pay for it. Therefore, without the financial support from the public, the cost is still and even more needed to be covered by the money from the public. All in all, regarding to the potential risks and increased tax, it seems that it is tenable that people should pay for the public transportation fee.
At present, it is
extensively
acknowledged that in the process of social development, the city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
system have
been ameliorated
greatly
and it has provided
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
convenience for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
. Within this context, a disputable statement, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
talked over, has emerged that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
they have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
. On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
support this statement since they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
construction should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
including
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
.
However
, other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
on the contrary
side
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
everyone has their responsibility. As far as I concerned, I
totally
disagree with this statement that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transportation.

At
first
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Possible spelling mistake found.
don&
#039; t need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risks
of transporting would increase and would be harder to respond. When there is no restriction on tickets, it is self-evident that more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
, which leads to more potential security
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risks
.
For example
, one day there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the subway station, the waiting area is
The extreme adjective for crowded is "packed".
really crowded
. Unfortunately, my phone
was stolen
by a thief in the crowd. It took me
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time to call the police and find back my phone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that it declines the efficiency and ability to respond to
Possible spelling mistake found.
passengers&
#039; emergency. In this way, the potential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risks
have increased and become more difficult to respond.

In addition
, take the subway as an example. If it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
, the cost of repairing and testing would
be covered
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
, which
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
. It may lead the city
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to increase the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
on everybody.
For instance
, one study from UCLA which modeled the
The usual preposition to use after "consequence" is not "after". Did you mean "consequence of", "consequence for", or "consequence on"?
consequence after
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
policy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
will increase by 3 to 5 percentage to every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizen
. That means this situation which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have access to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
freely
is more expensive than the normal situation that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
for it.
Therefore
, without the financial support from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
, the cost is
still
and even more needed to
be covered
by the money from the public.

All in all,
The phrase 'regarding to' is not correct. Use "regarding" or "regard to".
regarding to
the potential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risks
and increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
, it seems that it is tenable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
fee.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
46Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay People should not have to pay for public transportation that they use. v. 602

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
382 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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