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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People should spend money on things that last a long time, such as expensive pieces of jewelry, than spend money on short-term pleasureslike vacations. v.595

People should spend money on things that last a long time, such as expensive pieces of jewelry, than spend money on short-term pleasureslike vacations. v. 595
To begin with, the statement that spending money on long-term items is more beneficial than spending money on short-term pleasures is an intriguing topic because people tend to use up their money very soon after they receive the salaries. In my point of view, I agree with the statement that money is supposed to be spent on items that last a long time. First, long-term objects or services usually benefit owners the whole lives even the following generations. It is important to think about the future, not only ourselves but also our children and future generations. For example, buying books is a good way to absorb knowledge. Because of the books' long lasting feature, as long as they are preserved well, the books could still be taken out to read after decades. It is so memorial that one day we as grandparents, read the antique books to our grandchildren and tell them our thoughts when we were young. Therefore, spending money on long-term items benefits both us and future generations. In addition, some long-term items or services are profitable and can be used as a method of wealth management. There is no doubt that the rich tend to spend their money more cautiously, especially on the objects that can bring about profit. For instance, a great number of people in China are convinced that buying real estates is the best way to fight inflamation and increse their fortune. The property price in China has dramatically increased since 15 years ago. In some major cities like Beijing and Shanghai, the property values are so prohibitive that mid-class workers have no way to afford. However, it reflects that spending money on long-term items is a wise decision. Admittedly, it is true that people tend to spend money on short-term pleasures such as travel, shopping, movies as the result of the economy development. Spending money on these kinds of items sometimes are beneficial since it certainly helps relax us after a long day or period of working. For example, most of young people would go for a pretty nice dinner on every Friday night, after which they might continue with some recreations such as drinking at bars or watching movies at cinemas. Moreover, if keep saving money instead of spending it, people might feel lost about their jobs, because they will be confused why they work so hard to make a living. To sum up, even though there are certain benefits to spend money on short-term pleasures, people, especially those who are young, should still save money to spend on items that are really beneficial in a long run.
To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the statement that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long-term
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
is more beneficial than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on short-term pleasures is an intriguing topic
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
up their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
after they receive the salaries. In my point of view, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is supposed
to
be spent
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
that last a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
time.

First
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long-term
objects or services
usually
benefit owners the whole
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
even the following generations. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about the future, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
ourselves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
our children and future generations.
For example
, buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way to absorb knowledge.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
books&
#039;
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
long lasting
feature, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
as they
are preserved
well, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
could
still
be taken
out to read after decades. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
memorial that one day we as grandparents, read the antique
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
to our grandchildren and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
them our thoughts when we were young.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long-term
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
benefits both us and future generations.

In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long-term
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
or services are profitable and can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as a method of wealth management. There is no doubt that the rich tend to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
more
cautiously
,
especially
on the objects that can bring about profit.
For instance
, a great number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in China
are convinced
that buying real estates is the best way to fight
Possible spelling mistake found.
inflamation
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
increse
their fortune. The property price in China has
dramatically
increased since 15 years ago. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
major cities like Beijing and Shanghai, the property values are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
prohibitive that mid-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
workers have no way to afford.
However
, it reflects that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long-term
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
is a wise decision.

Admittedly
, it is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on short-term pleasures such as travel, shopping, movies as the result of the economy development.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on these kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
are beneficial since it
certainly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
relax us after a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
day or period of working.
For example
, most of young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would go for a pretty nice dinner on every Friday night, after which they might continue with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
recreations such as drinking at bars or watching movies at cinemas.
Moreover
, if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
saving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
it,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
might feel lost about their jobs,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they will
be confused
why they work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a living.

To sum up,
even though
there are certain benefits to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on short-term pleasures,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
especially
those who are young, should
still
save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
that are
really
beneficial in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
run.
20Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
49Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay People should spend money on things that last a long time, such as expensive pieces of jewelry, than spend money on short-term pleasureslike vacations. v. 595

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
436 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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