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In spite of the advances made in agriculture many people around the world still go hungry Why is this the case What can be done about this problem v.2

In spite of the advances made in agriculture many people around the world still go hungry Why is this the case What can be done about this problem v. 2
Although, we are witnessing a significant advancement being made in the field of agriculture, numerous people are still deprived of the basic necessity like food. This essay discuses about the causes of scarcity of the food, along with the possible solutions for the same problem. The primary reason for people being hungry, regardless of the advances in agriculture is the ever growing population. In the last decade, the growth rate of population has increased tremendously. Whereas, the production of food has comparatively not increased at the same scale. It is inhuman to change the duration required for a crop to be grown. In addition, food is wasted by many people on daily basis, which ultimately leads to shortage of food for other people. For instance, restaurants, where food is made in bulk, however, unfortunately not all of it is completely consumed by the customers. The leftover food is then discarded to avoid any problems caused by stale food. Therefore, these are the major causes, why people go hungry. This situation can totally be changed and each person can have at least one meal a day. Firstly, the wastage of food immediately needs to be reduced. Restaurants ought to cook the food as per the need of the hour and not cook any of it in advance. To illustrate, management needs to be well trained in food management and avoid wastage of food as much as possible. This will save a huge amount of food every single day. Moreover, we need to control the growth of population. The more the population, the more the shortage of food. Some international laws are required to keep a check on the population growth. In conclusion, population growth and misuse of food are the foremost challenges we face and it will ultimately lead to people starving, but a possible solution could be, to control the growth rate of population along with decreasing the wastage of food.
Although, we are witnessing a significant advancement
being made
in the field of agriculture, numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
still
deprived of the basic necessity like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. This essay discuses about the causes of scarcity of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, along with the possible solutions for the same problem.

The primary reason for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
being hungry, regardless of the advances in agriculture is the ever growing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
. In the last decade, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
has increased
tremendously
.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
, the production of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
has
comparatively
not increased at the same scale. It is inhuman to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the duration required for a crop to
be grown
.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is wasted
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
on daily basis, which
ultimately
leads to shortage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
for other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For instance
, restaurants, where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is made
in bulk,
however
, unfortunately not all of it is completely consumed by the customers. The leftover
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is then discarded to avoid any problems caused by stale
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
Therefore
, these are the major causes, why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
go hungry.

This situation can
totally
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
and each person can have at least one meal a day.
Firstly
, the wastage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
immediately
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
. Restaurants ought to cook the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
as per the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
of the hour and not cook any of it in advance. To illustrate, management
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
to be
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well trained
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
management and avoid wastage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
as much as possible. This will save a huge amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
every single day.
Moreover
, we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to control the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
. The more the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
, the more the shortage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
international laws
are required
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
growth.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
and misuse of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
are the foremost challenges we face and it will
ultimately
lead to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
starving,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
a possible solution could be, to control the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
along with decreasing the wastage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
37Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay In spite of the advances made in agriculture many people around the world still go hungry Why is this the case What can be done about this problem v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
321 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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