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Some people believe that exploring outer space is important because it expands human knowledge and might lead to discoveries that will benefit humanity in the future. Other people believe that space exploration is a waste of money that could be better spent solving immediate problems here on Earth. v.1

Some people believe that exploring outer space is important because it expands human knowledge and might lead to discoveries that will benefit humanity in the future. Other people believe that space exploration is a waste of money that could be better spent solving immediate problems here on Earth. v. 1
It is a true fact to consider that there has been a great debate on whether to spend a huge amount of money to explore outer space or not. Considering this, there are some analysts who hold an opinion that spending money for the exploring outer space is most important due to the expansion of human knowledge, while other consider that as a money wasting activity and opine that it can be better used to mitigate some urgent matters we have in this world. This essay will show assertion on both sides of the contention before arriving at a reasonable conclusion. First and foremost, poverty could be a significant factor why space research should be given less priority. It is generally seen thousands of people everyday starve or lack from very basic human needs. A large number of people in the world are still struggling to find foods, clothes, medicines etc. and the amount of money we are spending just to reach further in the space or to know more is overwhelming. So many people consider space research as an unnecessary activity while they focus on eliminating more pressing problems are living in. Fatal diseases could be another burning problem that needs more research and prevention. So money and manpower used for space exploration are not justified to many. There are some groups who are in favour of spending more money to explore outer space for the  improvement of human knowledge, in spite of views discussed above regarding waste of money that are valid reasons for spending money for the exploring outer space. These groups of people believe that space exploration is required for our own benefits: to search for other intelligent species, to understand the universe, to find more resources for human or even to find a suitable place in another planet for human to live. They believe that wars, crime and corruptions are causing more problems and costing more than the outer space exploration. They feel that we should understand the model of our universe and learn the history of it for the greater good of human. In summary, undoubtedly, spending a portion of the budget to explore outer space should be allowed; however, as far as I am concerned, governments should take more responsibilities to improve nations and ensure basic human needs before spending too much on outer world research.
It is a true fact to consider that there has been a great debate on whether to spend a huge amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to explore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
or not. Considering this, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
analysts who hold an opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for the exploring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
is
Did you mean "the most"?
most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
due to the expansion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
knowledge, while other consider that as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
wasting activity and opine that it can be better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to mitigate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
urgent matters we have in this world. This essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
assertion on both sides of the contention
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
arriving at a reasonable conclusion.

First
and foremost, poverty could be a significant factor why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
less priority. It is
generally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
thousands of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
starve or lack from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
needs.
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
A large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the world are
still
struggling to find foods, clothes, medicines etc. and the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
we are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to reach
further
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
or to know more is overwhelming.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
as an unnecessary activity while they focus on eliminating more pressing problems are living in. Fatal diseases could be another burning problem that needs more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
and prevention.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and manpower
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
exploration are not justified to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
groups who are in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of
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spending
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to explore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
for the
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
improvement of
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human
knowledge,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
views discussed above regarding waste of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
that are valid reasons for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for the exploring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
. These groups of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
exploration
is required
for our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
benefits: to search for other intelligent species, to understand the universe, to find more resources for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
or even to find a suitable place in another planet for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
. They believe that wars, crime and corruptions are causing more problems and costing more than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
exploration. They feel that we should understand the model of our universe and learn the history of it for the greater
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
of human.

In summary,
undoubtedly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
a portion of the budget to explore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
;
however
, as far as I
am concerned
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should take more responsibilities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
nations and ensure basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
needs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
too much on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outer
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
46Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that exploring outer space is important because it expands human knowledge and might lead to discoveries that will benefit humanity in the future. Other people believe that space exploration is a waste of money that could be better spent solving immediate problems here on Earth. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
393 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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