Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People should take time to relax with hobbies or physical activities that are very different from what they do at work. v.561

People should take time to relax with hobbies or physical activities that are very different from what they do at work. v. 561
In today' s hectic city of life, in which life has trials and tribulations, vast majorities of people look for a better life. Life is full of difficulties and they can be sweet or painful as well, which accompany us in the whole life. Various points of view which are germane to the matter being discussed brings us to the moot question as to whether people need relax and unwind differently from what they do at their works. However, the popular sentiment to which I vehemently cling is that if people do not take some time with relax and do not do physical activities, they will not be able to stay focus, improve their productivity and maintain healthily. The underlying aim of this essay is to put forward some cogent reasons to shed light on a number of issues in this framework. To commence with, every mature human being has to admit that success will be a blank dream without difficulties. Indeed, people work hard and bend over backward to be successful in their lives. But they need some time to relax and unwind in order to stay happy and lively. Generally phrased, after boring and stressful hours of works, people need to be recovered and fresh owing to the fact that working properly and precisely need concentration. As a palpable example, relax and physical activities provide an opportunity for human beings to develop productivities. So, not only can companies be successful with focused employees but also workers can work meticulously without doing anything wrong. To elucidate more on this issue, companies or the government should encourage people to take time and relax in order to enhance their working conditions. Hardly can people be successful if they neglect physical activities and relax. Another equally salient point in corroborating my stance in this subject is that not only can unwind and physical activities improve productivity and reduce stress but also can help people to lead a healthy life. If we take a minute to ponder over it, people have always stress in their working environment whether they are doing well or not. So, this stress might create some problem for people and put their health into danger. Therefore, it is necessarily needed to do some activities diminish the stress. It can be deduced from a combination of breadth of coverage and depth of detail that not until people take time and unwind, can they become successful at their works and lead a healthy life. However, every coin has two sides. If people do some activities and relax different from their works, it might have the deleterious effect on their working conditions. For instance, myriads of people take a long trip to far places in order to relax and unwind. So, this might not allow workers to concentrate on their work and something disruptive may come up. However, it was a story in nutshell; actually, there are more reasonable grounds that can lend weight to my personal perspective. In light of reasons elaborated, I reiterate that
In
Possible spelling mistake found.
today&
#039; s hectic city of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, in which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
has trials and tribulations, vast majorities of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
look for a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Life
is full of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
difficulties and
they can be sweet or painful
as well
, which accompany us in the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Various points of view which are germane to the matter
being discussed
brings us to the moot question
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether", or rephrase the sentence to avoid "as to".
as to whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relax
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unwind
differently
from what they do at their works.
However
, the popular sentiment to which I
vehemently
cling is that if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relax
and do not do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
, they will not be able to stay focus,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their productivity and maintain
healthily
. The underlying aim of this essay is to put forward
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cogent reasons to shed light on a number of issues in this framework.

To commence with, every mature human being
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
admit that success will be a blank dream without difficulties.
Indeed
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
and bend over backward to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relax
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unwind
in order to stay happy and lively.
Generally
phrased, after boring and stressful hours of works,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
be recovered
and fresh owing to the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
properly
and
precisely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
concentration. As a palpable example,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relax
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
provide an opportunity for human beings to develop
Possible spelling mistake found.
productivities
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
with focused employees
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
workers can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
meticulously
without doing anything
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
. To elucidate more on this issue,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
or the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relax
in order to enhance their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
conditions. Hardly can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
if they neglect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
and relax.

Another
equally
salient point in corroborating my stance in this subject is that not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unwind
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
productivity and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to lead a healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. If we take a minute to ponder over it,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have always
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "stressed".
stress
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
environment whether they are doing well or not.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
might create
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problem for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and put their health into
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
.
Therefore
, it is
necessarily
needed to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
diminish the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
. It can
be deduced
from a combination of breadth of coverage and depth of detail that not until
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unwind
, can they become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
at their works and lead a healthy life.

However
, every coin has two sides. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relax
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from their works, it might have the deleterious effect on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
conditions.
For instance
, myriads of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
take a long trip to far places in order to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relax
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unwind
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, this might not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
workers to concentrate on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and something disruptive may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up.
However
, it was a story in nutshell; actually, there are more reasonable grounds that can lend weight to my personal perspective.

In light of reasons elaborated, I reiterate that
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
64Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay People should take time to relax with hobbies or physical activities that are very different from what they do at work. v. 561

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
503 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts