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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People should take time to relax with hobbies or physical activities that are very different from what they do at work. v.136

People should take time to relax with hobbies or physical activities that are very different from what they do at work. v. 136
Education is very important in every person’s life. Today, some students in Europe focus on practical skills, however, other children believe that academic knowledge is also significant. This essay will provide suggestions for schools on how to prepare children for the world of work and will lead to a logical conclusion. Initially, academic knowledge about anything is kind of basics for every learner and practical skills are needed for a person to work in the real world. Therefore, schools must focus on both types of study to prepare a pupil to work outside. To qualify a pupil’s academic understanding, schools should provide books to read and teachers to clear apprentice’s doubts. Moreover, practical skills are also needed for children to know how to use their academic familiarity while they work in the real world. To do this, schools may take students for an industrial tour. Furthermore, schools may ask pupils to work on projects, where teachers may also guide for students on where they are facing obstacles in making projects. For instance, during my schooling, I was asked to make some projects, in which I could take the help of my teachers. The purpose of the project was to gain some practical experiences. In a nutshell, to prepare an undergraduate to work after their education, schools must provide academic knowledge as well as schools should help a learner to gain some practical experience. Where books and teachers can help apprentices to gain academic awareness, industrial tour and projects can enhance the practical skills of pupils.
Education is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in every person’s life.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
students in Europe focus on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
,
however
, other children believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
knowledge is
also
significant. This essay will provide suggestions for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
on how to prepare children for the world of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and will lead to a logical conclusion.

Initially
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
knowledge about anything is kind of basics for every learner and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are needed
for a person to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in the real world.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
focus on both types of study to prepare a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pupil
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
outside. To qualify a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pupil’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
understanding,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
should provide books to read and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
apprentice’s doubts.

Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are
also
needed for children to know how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
familiarity while they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in the real world. To do this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
may take students for an industrial tour.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
may ask
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pupils
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
projects
, where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
may
also
guide for students on where they are facing obstacles in making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
projects
.
For instance
, during my schooling, I
was asked
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
projects
, in which I could take the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
. The purpose of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
project
was to gain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practical
experiences.

In a nutshell, to prepare an undergraduate to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
after their education,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
knowledge
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
a learner to gain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practical
experience. Where books and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
apprentices to gain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
awareness, industrial tour and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
projects
can enhance the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pupils
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay People should take time to relax with hobbies or physical activities that are very different from what they do at work. v. 136

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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