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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? In order to celebrate major events, it’s better to organize a big party with lots of people than to have a small party where only close friends and relatives are invited. v.560

In order to celebrate major events, it’s better to organize a big party with lots of people than to have a small party where only close friends and relatives are invited. v. 560
Since the dawn of civilization, human beings have an inevitable tendency to participate in parties, ceremonies and so forth, where vast majorities of people gathered and enjoy communicating with each other. Various points of view which are germane to the matter being discussed brings us to the moot question as to whether it is better to organize a big party and invite many people for the ceremony or a small party with just close friends and family members. However, the popular sentiment to which I vehemently cling is that big parties with a plethora of people are more enjoyable and beneficial for individuals than the small one. The underlying aim of this essay is to put forward some cogent reasons to shed light on a number of issues in this framework. To commence with, participate in ceremonies and parties provide an opportunity for people to throw their stress away and spend a happy time because there are too many cool people, spending time with them make you happy and lively. Generally phrased, there are several aspects regarding participate in a big or a small party. But the thing which is utmost important is the fact that people want to be happy and thrill. As a palpable example, in a big party, a great opportunity will be provided for individuals to become familiar with different people with diverse attitudes and passions. So, not only can they become happy and lively but also can socialize and improve their social skills. To elucidate more on this issue, in a big party where myriads of people are in there, people will learn how to interact and how to behave with different people. Another equally salient point in corroborating my stance in this subject is that the big ceremony will help us to transmit our cultural traditions to other societies. If we take a minute to ponder over it, parties and ceremonies are the symbols of culture and they can show what the culture or a society is. For instance, in my country, the government celebrate New Year Eve annually and invite crowds of people from the different culture to the party. Therefore, not only can people from different countries become familiar with our culture but also can introduce traditions and costumes to the world. It can be deduced from a combination of breadth of coverage and depth of detail that a big party not only is beneficial for people but also for the whole country as well. However, every coin has two sides. Organize a big party might create staggering costs because it needs different foods, equipment, facilities, a good place and so forth. The startling fact which flabbergasted me is that a plethora of people are inclined toward the opinion that a big party is not expensive and it' s beneficial. That being so, hold a small party is more appropriate for people because it allows individuals to save more money for the future. However, it was a story in a nutshell; actually, there are more reasonable grounds that can lend weight to my personal perspective. In light of reasons elaborated, I reiterate that
Since the dawn of civilization, human beings have an inevitable tendency to participate in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parties
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ceremonies
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
forth, where vast majorities of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
gathered and enjoy communicating with each other. Various points of view which are germane to the matter
being discussed
brings us to the moot question
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether", or rephrase the sentence to avoid "as to".
as to whether
it is better to organize a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
party
and invite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ceremony
or a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
party
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
close friends and family members.
However
, the popular sentiment to which I
vehemently
cling is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parties
with a plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more enjoyable and beneficial for individuals than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
one. The underlying aim of this essay is to put forward
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cogent reasons to shed light on a number of issues in this framework.

To commence with, participate in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ceremonies
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parties
provide an opportunity for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to throw their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
away and spend a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cool
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, spending time with them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
and lively.
Generally
phrased, there are several aspects
Probably a preposition is missing after 'regarding'.
regarding participate
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
or a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
party
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the thing which is utmost
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
is the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
and thrill. As a palpable example, in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
party
, a great opportunity will
be provided
for individuals to become familiar with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with diverse attitudes and passions.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
can they become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
and lively
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
can socialize and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. To elucidate more on this issue, in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
party
where myriads of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are in there,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will learn how to interact and how to behave with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Another
equally
salient point in corroborating my stance in this subject is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ceremony
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us to transmit our cultural traditions to other societies. If we take a minute to ponder over it,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parties
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ceremonies
are the symbols of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
culture and
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
what the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
or a society is.
For instance
, in my country, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
celebrate New Year Eve
annually
and invite crowds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
party
.
Therefore
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
countries become familiar with our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
can introduce traditions and costumes to the world. It can
be deduced
from a combination of breadth of coverage and depth of detail that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
party
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
is beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
for the whole country
as well
.

However
, every coin has two sides. Organize a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
party
might create staggering costs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it needs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
foods, equipment, facilities, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
place and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
forth. The startling fact which flabbergasted me is that a plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are inclined
toward the opinion that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
party
is not expensive and
Possible spelling mistake found.
it&
#039; s beneficial. That being
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, hold a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
party
is more appropriate for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
individuals to save more money for the future.
However
, it was a story in a nutshell; actually, there are more reasonable grounds that can lend weight to my personal perspective.

In light of reasons elaborated, I reiterate that
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
59Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay In order to celebrate major events, it’s better to organize a big party with lots of people than to have a small party where only close friends and relatives are invited. v. 560

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
520 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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