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do you agree or disagree? in order to celebrate major events, it is better to organize a big party with lots of people than to have a small party where only close friends and relative are invited. v.99

in order to celebrate major events, it is better to organize a big party with lots of people than to have a small party where only close friends and relative are invited. v. 99
The question is whether in order to celebrate major events, it is better to organize a big party with lots of people than to have a small party where only close friends and relative are invited or not. Everyone can maintain a specific direction toward this issue with regard to his private view; inasmuch I try to considerate to cons and pros everything, therefore in my perspective a small party can be more worthwhile. My arguments are listed below which will strengthen my point of view: To begin with, it is axiomatic that nobody likes to spend a lot of money just for one night. Needless to say that a big ceremony will cause you to waste your budget and also it can take much energy for cleaning, cooking, purchasing and list goes on. There are a huge mass of economics troubles in every house; hence taking place a big party can be illogical. Such a modern world requires being selfish. There are extreme things which can be done by us with this money, for instance registering in a equipped gym, buying the newest smartphone, traveling and saving money for rainy day and so on. It is a bit of ridiculous to pay money for a transient joyful. The second reason why I refute this idea lies in the fact of humanistic and spiritual aspects. Major events and the parties of related with them are belonging to all people with any social status. A glimpse to statistical graphs will be shown that a lot poor people and children are living in the cities. Instead of spending money for repetitive ceremonies with usual rhythms and meeting the same people every year, we will be able to give a hand to homeless people. I am willing to empower my reasons by following the discussion. There is a different issue here. In big celebrations, since you will meet a lot of people, it is plausible to you overwhelm. On the one hand you are inclined to speak with people; on the other hand you will not have enough time to spend with all of them. In my country, respecting to guests is an undeniable fact; consequently gathering numerous friends and relatives can be tedious and it is not worth. By taking all above mentioned arguments, this conclusion could be drawn that having a small party will provide a lot of benefits as saving money for indispensable things, sharing delight with poor cortex, spending time with people who have a common soul with you.
The question is whether in order to celebrate major
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
, it is better to organize a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
party
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lots
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
than to have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
party
where
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
close friends and relative
are invited
or not. Everyone can maintain a specific direction toward this issue with regard to his private view; inasmuch I try
Did you mean "too considerate to"?
to considerate to
cons and pros everything,
therefore
in my perspective a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
party
can be more worthwhile. My arguments
are listed
below which will strengthen my point of view:

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it is axiomatic that nobody likes to spend a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for one night. Needless to say that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
ceremony will cause you to waste your budget and
also
it can take much energy for cleaning, cooking, purchasing and list goes on. There are a huge mass of economics troubles in every
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
;
hence
taking place a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
party
can be illogical. Such a modern world requires being selfish. There are extreme things which can
be done
by us with this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
,
for instance
registering in
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
equipped gym, buying the newest smartphone, traveling and saving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for rainy day and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. It is a bit of ridiculous to pay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for a transient joyful.

The second reason why I refute this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
lies in the fact of humanistic and spiritual aspects. Major
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parties
of related with them
The verb 'belonging' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
are belonging
to all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with any social status. A glimpse to statistical graphs will
be shown
that a
It seems that there's a missing preposition after ''.
lot
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and children are living in the cities.
Instead
of spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for repetitive ceremonies with usual rhythms and meeting the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
every year, we will be able to give a hand to homeless
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

I am willing to empower my reasons by following the discussion. There is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
issue here. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
celebrations, since you will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, it is plausible to you overwhelm. On the one hand you
are inclined
to speak with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
;
on the other hand
you will not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time to spend with all of them. In my country, respecting to guests is an undeniable fact;
consequently
gathering numerous friends and relatives can be tedious and it is not worth.

By taking all above mentioned arguments, this conclusion could
be drawn
that having a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
party
will provide a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of benefits as saving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for indispensable things, sharing delight with poor cortex, spending time with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have a common soul with you.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay in order to celebrate major events, it is better to organize a big party with lots of people than to have a small party where only close friends and relative are invited. v. 99

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
420 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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