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1 Some people believe that culture will be ruined if it is used to earn tourism revenue but others consider that tourism is the only way of protecting a culture Discuss both sides and give your own opinion v.1

1 Some people believe that culture will be ruined if it is used to earn tourism revenue but others consider that tourism is the only way of protecting a culture 1
The early stage of a child's life is an important formative period where they find themselves between two options. Thus, making the right choice is an integral part of life. Whilst other are of the view that children should not be disciplined, I strongly believe that punishment is a vital ingredient in their development in the society. On the one hand, children are good imitators. That is, they are capable of replicating the things they see around them effectively. For instance, fathers who are left-handed tend to have sons or daughter who use their left hand like their fathers. Since they only produce what they observe, the best way to lead them between good and evil decision is to be good ambassadors. Therefore, we see ourselves in them. On the other hand, I do not believe that the aforementioned views stand to scrutiny. To correct the ward with the rod is a better option. That is to say, when strokes of the cane are applied, it implies that the child had done something that warrants correction. The Punch Newspaper revealed a survey carried out in Ghana in 1990, that wards who were punished using the cane made better choices when faced with circumstances that brought the discipline as compared to those who were not. This is particularly important because the pains of the rod created a memory that lasted a long time. Hence, they are better in decision making. In conclusion, parents and teachers should be allowed to beat erring younger ones in order to instill the right behaviour in them. This is not only for the present, but for the future.
The early stage of a child's life is an
important
formative period where they find themselves between two options.
Thus
, making the right choice is an integral part of life.

Whilst other are of the view that children should not
be disciplined
, I
strongly
believe that punishment is a vital ingredient in their development in the society.

On the one hand, children are
good
imitators.
That is
, they are capable of replicating the things they
see
around them
effectively
.
For instance
, fathers
who
are
left
-handed tend to have sons or daughter
who
use
their
left
hand like their fathers. Since they
only
produce what they observe, the best way to lead them between
good
and evil decision is to be
good
ambassadors.
Therefore
, we
see
ourselves in them.

On the other hand
, I do not believe that the aforementioned views stand to scrutiny. To correct the ward with the rod is a better option.
That is
to say, when strokes of the cane
are applied
, it implies that the child had done something that warrants correction. The Punch Newspaper revealed a survey carried out in Ghana in 1990, that wards
who
were punished
using the cane made better choices when faced with circumstances that brought the discipline as compared to those
who
were not. This is
particularly
important
because
the pains of the rod created a memory that lasted a long time.
Hence
, they are better in
decision making
.

In conclusion
, parents and teachers should be
allowed
to beat erring younger ones in order to instill the right
behaviour
in them. This is not
only
for the present,
but
for the future.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay 1 Some people believe that culture will be ruined if it is used to earn tourism revenue but others consider that tourism is the only way of protecting a culture 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
272 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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