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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Teachers had a greater influence on young people in the past than they do today. v.537

Teachers had a greater influence on young people in the past than they do today. v. 537
The school is an academic center, the main responsibility of which is to prepare students for having both a successful profession and personal life. In fact, the school helps students learn how to decide their path and make a progress day in day out. Various points of view which are germane to the matter being discussed brings us to the moot question as to whether nowadays teachers have the profound impact on students than past. However, the popular sentiment to which I vehemently cling is that today with the advent of sophisticated technologies, hardly students influenced by their teachers. The underlying aim of this essay is to put forward some cogent reasons to shed light on a number of issues in this framework. To commence with, teachers play a consequential role in any given society owing to the fact that they are the pillars of the society and the success of a nation largely depends on its teachers. Generally phrased, before the invention of a wide variety of technologies students were more dependents on their teachers and listened to their words carefully and meticulously. But in today' s hectic city of life, students are leading an independent education. As a palpable example, various education packages provide an opportunity for students to keep track of their education without any teacher. So, in this situation, teachers could not have any direct influence on students. To elucidate more on this issue, in the past teachers were like a hero or role model that myriads of students admired them but now rarely students value their teachers. Another equally salient point in corroborating my stance is that teachers in the past encouraged students to study hard in order to reach a higher education and make a progress day in day out. If we take a minute to ponder over it, students knew how their teachers could change their lives drastically and helped them become a self-sufficient person. It can be deduced from a combination of breadth of coverage and depth of detail that students are now careful about their study and they always opt for careers with less level of complication like plumber, carpenter and so forth. With this attitude, students will not be able to realize the importance of teachers in their personal lives. However, every coin has two sides. Vast majorities of students in the past had to work along with their study. So, they had not enough time and energy to continue their education. Indeed, they could not afford to enroll in good schools and hired teachers to improve their education, so, hardly could they influenced by their teachers. But now, students just stay focus on their education and they are more likely to understand the value of their teachers. However, it was a story in a nutshell; actually, there are more reasonable grounds that can lend weight to my personal perspective. In light of reasons elaborated, I reiterate that
The school is an academic center, the main responsibility of which is to prepare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
for having both a successful profession and personal life. In fact, the school
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
learn how to decide their path and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a progress day in day out. Various points of view which are germane to the matter
being discussed
brings us to the moot question
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether", or rephrase the sentence to avoid "as to".
as to whether
nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
have the profound impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
.
However
, the popular sentiment to which I
vehemently
cling is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
with the advent of sophisticated technologies, hardly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
influenced by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
. The underlying aim of this essay is to put forward
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cogent reasons to shed light on a number of issues in this framework.

To commence with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
play a consequential role in any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
society owing to the fact that they are the pillars of the society and the success of a nation
largely
depends on its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
.
Generally
phrased,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the invention of a wide variety of technologies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
were more dependents on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
and listened to their words
carefully
and
meticulously
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
today&
#039; s hectic city of life,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are leading an independent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. As a palpable example, various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
packages provide an opportunity for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
without any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, in this situation,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
could not have any direct influence on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. To elucidate more on this issue, in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
were like a hero or role model that myriads of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
admired them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
rarely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
value their teachers.

Another
equally
salient point in corroborating my stance is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
encouraged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to study
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
in order to reach a higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a progress day in day out. If we take a minute to ponder over it,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
knew how their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
drastically
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
them become a self-sufficient person. It can
be deduced
from a combination of breadth of coverage and depth of detail that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
careful about their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
study and
they always opt for careers with less level of complication like plumber, carpenter and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
forth. With this attitude,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will not be able to realize the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
in their personal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

However
, every coin has two sides. Vast majorities of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
had to work along with their study.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, they had not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time and energy to continue their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
Indeed
, they could not afford to enroll in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
schools and hired
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, hardly could they influenced by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
stay focus on their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
education and
they are more likely to understand the value of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
.
However
, it was a story in a nutshell; actually, there are more reasonable grounds that can lend weight to my personal perspective.

In light of reasons elaborated, I reiterate that
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
41Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Teachers had a greater influence on young people in the past than they do today. v. 537

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
487 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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