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Do you agree or disagree? The teachers had a greater influence on the young people in the past than they do today. v.8

The teachers had a greater influence on the young people in the past than they do today. v. 8
Nowadays, students should study at school until 18 years old. I completely agree with that the people should stay at home until they are 18 years old. Firstly, this essay will discuss that the school is a place where will teach the students a lot of general knowledge to help them become the moral people. Secondly, It will also discuss that the people who are under 18 years old, are young and don’t have a lot of experience in their daily life. The school is a place where will teach the students a lot of general knowledge to help them become the moral people. In fact, teachers will teach the students enriching life lessons. Moreover, they are like a friend who will help the students tackle difficult problems. For example, in literature, the teachers will teach the pupils a lot of lessons about people, country where they are living. And this may lead to that many students can become good citizens in society. The people who are under 18 years old, are young and don’t have a lot of experience in their daily life. Therefore, they should stay at school to study. In this age, if they do not go to school, they will have at high risk to become badl people. For instance, If they are not educated in a good way, they will catch a lot of social evil, such as: alcoholism, organized crime and so on. In conclusion, everyone should stay at school until 18 because the school will help them become the students better.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should study at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
until 18 years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should stay at home until they are 18 years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
.
Firstly
, this essay will discuss that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is a place where will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of general knowledge to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
the moral
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Secondly
, It will
also
discuss that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are under 18 years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
, are young and don’t have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of experience in their daily life.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is a place where will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of general knowledge to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
the moral
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. In fact, teachers will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
enriching life lessons.
Moreover
, they are like a friend who will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
tackle difficult problems.
For example
, in literature, the teachers will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
the pupils a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of lessons about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, country where they are living. And this may lead to that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
citizens in society.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are under 18 years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
, are young and don’t have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of experience in their daily life.
Therefore
, they should stay at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
to study. In this age, if they do not go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, they will have at high
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
Possible spelling mistake found.
badl
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For instance
, If they are not educated in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way, they will catch a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of social evil, such as: alcoholism, organized crime and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.

In conclusion
, everyone should stay at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
until 18
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
better.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The teachers had a greater influence on the young people in the past than they do today. v. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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