Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people argue that arts, such as paintings and music, are a waste of money and the government should spend this money on other public services. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.11

Some people argue that arts, such as paintings and music, are a waste of money and the government should spend this money on other public services. with this statement? v. 11
It is a debatable issue, that motivate the skills like painting and music is not worthy. Instead of spending cost on these activities, authorities should incur more on other facilities like medical, infrastructure. I completely oppose this mentality, because these acts always connected us with our culture. Moreover, nowadays in these sectors individual can settle their career very well. To stay in touch with our tradition and customs these creativities is very essential. In country like India people use music for various purposes from birth to till death. In south India people use painting techniques to decorate their homes, offices and temples at different occasion such as Diwali, Onam, Pongal and many more. They believe that these things are useful to worship their lord. Some people use these activities to describe their emotions. For example, in a hindi movie name “Tare Zammen Pe” a little Ishan disclose their feeling by the way of extraordinary paintings which has been found by his teacher that he wants to say something what can not disclose through words because of understanding issues. Therefore, these things play very vital role in everyone’s life. Establishing career by the help of these skills are become famous among youngsters. People with melodious voice sang songs at different platforms like Indian Idol, Saregamapa and other reality shows and achieved a designated place like Harshdeep Kaur, Abhijeet Sawant and many more. People with these hobbies now do not need to worry about their incomes because these are god gifted skills which help to raise their finance in future. A very well famous show on colours name India’s Got Talent give an earning platform to a sand artist who was very poor and now he runs a school of this art at free of cost. Hence, these skills are not useless. Conclusively, assumption of numerous people that development of art forms are wastage of financial resources has been proved wrongly.
It is a debatable issue, that motivate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
like painting and music is not worthy.
Instead
of spending cost on these activities, authorities should incur more on other facilities like medical, infrastructure. I completely oppose this mentality,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these acts always connected us with our culture.
Moreover
, nowadays in these sectors individual can settle their career
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well.

To stay in touch with our tradition and customs these
Possible spelling mistake found.
creativities
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
essential. In country like India
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
music for various purposes from birth to till death. In south India
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
painting techniques to decorate their homes, offices and temples at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
occasion such as Diwali,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Onam
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Pongal
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more. They believe that these things are useful to worship their lord.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
these activities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
their emotions.
For example
, in a
Possible spelling mistake found.
hindi
movie name “Tare
Possible spelling mistake found.
Zammen
Possible spelling mistake found.
Pe
” a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ishan
disclose their feeling by the way of extraordinary paintings which has
been found
by his teacher that he wants to say something what can not disclose through words
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of understanding issues.
Therefore
, these things play
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
vital role in everyone’s life.

Establishing career by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
among youngsters.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
with melodious voice sang songs at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
platforms like Indian Idol,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Saregamapa
and other reality
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
and achieved a designated place like
Possible spelling mistake found.
Harshdeep
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kaur
, Abhijeet
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sawant
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
with these hobbies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
do not need to worry about their incomes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these are god gifted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to raise their finance
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
. A
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
on
Possible spelling mistake. 'colours' is British English.
colours
name India’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Got
Talent give an earning platform to a sand artist who was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
poor and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
he runs a school of this art at free of cost.
Hence
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are not useless.

Conclusively
, assumption of numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that development of art forms are wastage of financial resources has
been proved
wrongly
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people argue that arts, such as paintings and music, are a waste of money and the government should spend this money on other public services. with this statement? v. 11

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
319 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts