Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Leaders must pay attention to the advice and opinions of other people. v.281

Leaders must pay attention to the advice and opinions of other people. v. 281
Nowadays, the age-gap between parents and their children is getting wider, unlike in the past when the gap was insignificant. In my opinion, this new development offers more benefits than drawbacks. To begin, one of the primary advantages of having a distant space between the parents and children age is that of respect. This is because older parents are more revered by their offsprings than younger ones. A close age-gap between them sometimes breeds contempt. In addition, another advantage of this is that older parents are often better prepared for parenting roles. They are usually financially and emotionally stable to handle child rearing. Let us take, for example, a young school leaver who is unemployed happens to give birth to a child, he is more likely to be incapable of caring for the child as necessary. However, some people have argued that, giving birth at a later age is detrimental to the health. For example, fertility in women tends to decline with advancing age, and they are very prone to childbirth complications during delivery such as postpartum haemorrhage, shock, etc. Furthermore, previous studies have found out that birth defects such as spina bifida and Down syndrome are strongly associated to the older age of the parents. What is more? Elderly parents are predisposed to caring for their children till retirement age when they are supposed to be taking a break from parenting roles. In conclusion, there are both benefits and drawbacks to a wide age difference between the parents and children. On examining both, ultimately, I believe that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
Nowadays, the age-gap between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is getting wider, unlike in the past when the gap was insignificant. In my opinion, this new development offers more benefits than drawbacks.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, one of the primary advantages of having a distant space between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
is that of respect. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are more revered by their
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings
than younger ones. A close age-gap between them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
breeds contempt.
In addition
, another advantage of this is that older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
better prepared for parenting roles. They are
usually
financially
and
emotionally
stable to handle child rearing.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
us take,
for example
, a young
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
school leaver
who
is unemployed
happens to give birth to a child, he is more likely to be incapable of caring for the child as necessary.

However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have argued that, giving birth at a later
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
is detrimental to the health.
For example
, fertility in women tends to decline with advancing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
, and they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
prone to childbirth complications during delivery such as postpartum
Possible spelling mistake. 'haemorrhage' is British English.
haemorrhage
, shock, etc.
Furthermore
, previous studies have found out that birth defects such as spina bifida and Down syndrome are
strongly
associated to the older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
What is more
? Elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are predisposed
to caring for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
till retirement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
when they
are supposed
to be taking a break from parenting roles.

In conclusion
, there are both benefits and drawbacks to a wide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
difference between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. On examining both,
ultimately
, I believe that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Leaders must pay attention to the advice and opinions of other people. v. 281

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts