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Dancing plays an important role in a culture. v.1

Dancing plays an important role in a culture. v. 1
Throughout the human history, dancing has always been an important part of our culture, society and ritual. This is considered as one of the most effective and ancient ways of communication and people all over the world have their traditional dancing styles that not only reflect their unique way of traditions but also their history and culture. I quite agree that dancing plays a very crucial role in a culture. If we look back to the history, dancing was a form of entertainment and an excellent outline of arts in all civilisations. It was even a way of performing ritual acts in many civilisations. The main reason it presents the culture of a society is because it is a fascinating combination of different forms of arts including music, songs, costumes, vibrant colours, performance and story. Each of these art forms presents a unique identity of a nation and thus when they are combined together, they become the icon of a nation. If we observe the art forms used in a dancing performance, we are sure to get a very vivid impression of a particular society and their way of life. Again, the dancing has many forms and it varies from civilisation to civilisation. Even a small tribe who has different cultural aspects has a different way of body movements, costumes and music while performing dances. Thus dancing also teaches us about the past history and traditions. For instance, ancient dancing that used the body and facial painting, quite primitive costumes and body movements are totally different than the modern dancing and both of them represents two different periods, civilisations and cultures. Finally, people’s presentation of happiness, joy, sadness, prayer, story and purposes through different forms of dancing is an excellent means of conveying human feelings and probably a very ancient mean of communication. As communication is the primary way of expressing culture and tradition, dancing plays a vital role in doing so. To sum up, dancing is always a part of our history, tradition and culture and it helps keep people's traditions alive through the ages.
Throughout the human
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history
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dancing
has always been an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of our
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culture
, society and ritual. This
is considered
as one of the most effective and ancient ways of communication and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
all over the world have their traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dancing
styles that not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
reflect their unique way of
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traditions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
their
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history
and
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culture
. I quite
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agree
that
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dancing
plays a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
crucial role in a culture.

If we look back to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
,
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dancing
was a
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form
of entertainment and an excellent outline of
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arts
in all
Possible spelling mistake. 'civilisations' is British English.
civilisations
. It was even a way of performing ritual acts in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Possible spelling mistake. 'civilisations' is British English.
civilisations
. The main reason it presents the
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culture
of a society is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is a fascinating combination of
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different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
forms
of
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arts
including music, songs, costumes, vibrant
Possible spelling mistake. 'colours' is British English.
colours
, performance and story. Each of these
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art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
forms
presents a unique identity of a nation and
thus
when they are
'combined together' is redundant. Use "combined"
combined together
, they become the icon of a nation. If we observe the
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art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
forms
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in a
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dancing
performance, we are sure to
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get
a
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very
vivid impression of a particular society and their way of life.

Again, the
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dancing
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
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forms
and it varies from
Possible spelling mistake. 'civilisation' is British English.
civilisation
to
Possible spelling mistake. 'civilisation' is British English.
civilisation
. Even a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
tribe who has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
cultural aspects has a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
way of body movements, costumes and music while performing dances.
Thus
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dancing
also
teaches us about the past
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history
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
.
For instance
, ancient
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dancing
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
the body and facial painting, quite primitive costumes and body movements are
totally
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different
Did you mean 'different "from"? 'Different than' is often considered colloquial style.
than
the modern
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dancing
and both of them represents two
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different
periods,
Possible spelling mistake. 'civilisations' is British English.
civilisations
and cultures.

Finally
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s presentation of happiness, joy, sadness, prayer, story and purposes through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
forms
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dancing
is an excellent means of conveying human feelings and
probably
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
ancient mean of communication. As communication is the primary way of expressing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tradition
,
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dancing
plays a vital role in doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dancing
is always a part of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tradition
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
alive through the ages.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
43Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Dancing plays an important role in a culture. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
346 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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