Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Attending a live performance (for example, a play, concert, or sporting event) is more enjoyable than watching the same event on television. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. v.411

Attending a live performance (for example, a play, concert, or sporting event) is more enjoyable than watching the same event on television. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. v. 411
The issue whether to attend a live performance or enjoy watching the same event on TV is a controversial one. However, in my opinion an intermediate position can be taken. I base my suggestion on the following points. But before I begin I think I need to clarify what kind of live performances I like. I mostly attend concerts and prefer to see sporting events on TV. First of all, watching an event on TV can bring many advantages. One can relax and settle in his favourite chair, eating a cake or having a drink. One does not have to spend time driving to the place where an event takes place. Also, he does not spend money on a ticket. Moreover, sometimes sitting in front of a TV set one is likely to see more interesting parts of a show more clearly with the help of an operator. Second of all, the weather is no longer of that importance. He does not care that it is rainy or chilly outside. From the other side, attending a live performance has many advantages too. Firstly, people can enjoy the songs as they are in a real time. Personally, I like to attend a live performance because they give much positive energy and many beautiful moments. Frankly, watching a show at home does not give me that. One can enjoy loud music, the closeness of his favourite stars and shout the songs he likes. In summary, I prefer to attend live performances in the case of a concert and show. However, in contrast, I prefer to watch sport events on television at home.
The issue whether to
attend
a
live
performance
or enjoy watching the same
event
on TV is a controversial one.
However
, in my opinion an intermediate position can
be taken
. I base my suggestion on the following points.
But
before
I
begin
I
think
I need to clarify what kind of
live
performances
I like. I
mostly
attend
concerts and prefer to
see
sporting
events
on TV.

First of all
, watching an
event
on TV can bring
many
advantages. One can relax and settle in his
favourite
chair, eating a cake or having a drink. One
does
not
have to
spend time driving to the place where an
event
takes place.
Also
, he
does
not spend money on a ticket.
Moreover
,
sometimes
sitting in front of a TV set one is likely to
see
more interesting parts of a
show
more
clearly
with the
help
of an operator. Second of all, the weather is no longer of that importance. He
does
not care that it is rainy or chilly outside.

From the other side, attending a
live
performance
has
many
advantages too.
Firstly
,
people
can enjoy the songs as they are in a real time.
Personally
, I like to
attend
a
live
performance
because
they give much
positive
energy and
many
beautiful
moments.
Frankly
, watching a
show
at home
does
not give me that. One can enjoy loud music, the closeness of his
favourite
stars and shout the songs he likes.

In summary, I prefer to
attend
live
performances
in the case of a concert and
show
.
However
,
in contrast
, I prefer to
watch
sport
events
on television at home.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Attending a live performance (for example, a play, concert, or sporting event) is more enjoyable than watching the same event on television. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. v. 411

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts