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3) Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Attending a live performance (for example, a play, concert, or sporting event) is more enjoyable than watching the same event on television. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opini v.3

3) Attending a live performance (for example, a play, concert, or sporting event) is more enjoyable than watching the same event on television. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opini v. 3
Live performances are events that people enjoy. It is really exciting to participate in a live concert where you might interact with different people, even you might feel increasing the adrenaline in your body. I agree that it is much better to participate in live performance, rather than watch those in TV for some reasons. First, live performances are more exciting. Even thought, you might have a good time watching a baseball game in your house with friends and family, it doesn' t compare as being close to the baseball' s star as you might do it when you are visiting the playground. For instance, I remember when I went to a base ball game with my friends, it was a championship, where Dominican republic was playing against Puerto Rico. I could appreciate each movement and each strike in this game, it was something exciting. After the game, there was a big parade, where we had the chance to meet some baseball players such as David Ortiz and Miguel Tejeda. Even, I took pictures and posted on my face book. As you can see, if I would rather to stay home, I couldn' t have enjoyed in this way. Second, if you attend to live performance, you might make new friends. If you stay home, nothing different will happen because you will be with the same people as always. Notwithstanding, if you go out, you will interact with new people that even might become your friends. Even though, it might be dangerous to speak with strangers, you will feel that you already knew these people. For instances, when I was in the play watching the game, I started a conversation with an old man who has been assisting to those games for many years. At the end of the game, he game me a baseball’s card that was signed for a professional player. To sum up, for all the reasons stated above, I agree with the statement that it is much better to assist to live performance, rather than watch those from home because it is more exciting and you might make new friends.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
performances
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
enjoy. It is
really
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exciting
to participate in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
concert where you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
interact with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, even you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
feel increasing the adrenaline in your body. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that it is much better to participate in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
performance
,
rather
than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
those in TV for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons.

First
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
performances
are more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exciting
. Even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
, you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
time watching a baseball game in your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
and family, it
Possible spelling mistake found.
doesn&
#039; t compare as being close to the
Possible spelling mistake found.
baseball&
#039; s star as you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
do it when you are visiting the playground.
For instance
, I remember when I went to a base ball game with my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
, it was a championship, where
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
Dominican republic
was playing against Puerto Rico. I could appreciate each movement and each strike in this game, it was something
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exciting
. After the game, there was a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
parade, where we had the chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
baseball players such as David Ortiz and Miguel
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tejeda
. Even, I took pictures and posted on my face book. As you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
, if I would
rather
to stay home, I
Possible spelling mistake found.
couldn&
#039; t have enjoyed in this way.

Second, if you attend to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
performance
, you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
. If you stay home, nothing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
will happen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
you will be with the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as always. Notwithstanding, if you go out, you will interact with new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that even
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
become your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
.
Even though
, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
to speak with strangers, you will feel that you already knew these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. For instances, when I was in the
The usual collocation for an activity ending in "-ing" is "go" not "do" or "play." Revise: "go watching", "goes watching", "going watching", "gone watching", "went watching".
play watching
the game, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
a conversation with an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
who has been assisting to those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years. At the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the game, he game me a baseball’s card that
was signed
for a professional player.

To sum up, for all the reasons stated above, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement that it is much better to assist to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
performance
,
rather
than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
those from home
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exciting
and you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay 3) Attending a live performance (for example, a play, concert, or sporting event) is more enjoyable than watching the same event on television. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opini v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
354 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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