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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People today are much better informed about international news that they were in the past. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.383

People today are much better informed about international news that they were in the past. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 383
In today's technological era of competitive world, social media play a pivotal role to spread the news easily to every corner of this world. Those days when people used to send written message wrapped in the pigeon's foot. While it is possible to claim that social media cuts distance in term of news. My personal view that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. I shall discuss this argument by analysing the both sides and explore the logical conclusion. Firstly, there are multifarious advantages which are associated with social media. One of them is the connection between people to have information about their vicinity. For example, news channels provide this information instantly, In addition, social media like google map, Facebook, LinkedIn and many more which fulfils the requirement of their query and fill the communication gap. Secondly, These social media become nurture of thought of people and explore their next move. Those people who argue that social media have different view and say that it is not an accurate thing. Negative exists where positive exists in this world. It is argued that these social media are unsecured and pass personal information to wrong hands. For example, wrong or fake news are cultivated in the society which outrage the many violent incidents. Moreover, it has been said that these social media can espouse the embezzler and make corruption in severe loss of money to the nation. To recapitulate, there are strong arguments on both sides argument and my personal view believe the notion to emphasize the social media act as activists for humanitarian. I would recommend that securing these social media and reporting bad phishing incidents to surveillance department who have regime to punish these corrupt people.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's technological era of competitive world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
play a pivotal role to spread the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
easily
to every corner of this world. Those days when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
written message wrapped in the pigeon's foot.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
it is possible to claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cuts
distance in term of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
. My personal view that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. I shall discuss this argument by
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysing' is British English.
analysing
the both sides and explore the logical conclusion.

Firstly
, there are multifarious advantages which
are associated
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
. One of them is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
connection between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to have information about their vicinity.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
channels provide this information
instantly
,
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
like google map, Facebook, LinkedIn and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more which
Possible spelling mistake found.
fulfils
the requirement of their query and fill the communication gap.
Secondly
, These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
become nurture of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and explore their
next
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
.

Those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
view and say that it is not an accurate thing.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Negative
exists where
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
exists in this world. It
is argued
that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
are unsecured
and pass personal information to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
hands.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
or fake
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
are cultivated
in the society which outrage the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
violent incidents.
Moreover
, it has
been said
that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
can espouse the embezzler and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
corruption in severe loss of money to the nation.

To recapitulate, there are strong arguments on both sides argument and my personal view believe the notion to emphasize the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
act as activists for humanitarian. I would recommend that securing these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
and reporting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
phishing incidents to surveillance department who have regime to punish these corrupt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay People today are much better informed about international news that they were in the past. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 383

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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